calling out sick

growing up, getting sick was almost an enjoyable event. when she could, momma V would stay home and take care of me and make chao ga topped with you tiao and ginger tea. on days that she had to work, i would go to ba mua's house just a block down the street from saddler house.

ba mua was a diminutive woman with frizzy, short hair and a kind smile. she was uncle joe's mom. uncle joe was not really my uncle but rather my dad's cousin and by far one of my more americanized relatives. he spoke english with ease and was a huge debbie gibson and redskins fan. uncle joe worked so my sick days at ba mua's house consisted of me amusing myself and watching nickelodean all day. ba mua would feed me buttery corn on the cob but always cut off all the kernals to make it easier for me to eat.

as an adult, getting sick is hardly fun. i feel bad for missing work and lazying around so i'm catching up on laundry and trying to will myself to either (1) make clam chowder or (2) go to the grocery store. theng thinks my body is protesting from being overworked and stressed and signalling that i need to slow down. and maybe she's right. so for now, i'm resting up, curled under my heavy blankets, and about to pop in a DVD and hopefully fall asleep.

bad car-ma

i thought i would do a GOOD and parked on the street, thus freeing up my parking garage spot for the boy. unfortunately, it was on the side that needed to be moved for street cleaning. for those of you that are unfamiliar with street parking in the city, each side of the streets are cleaned twice a week which means you have to "move your car" at a minimum of twice a week. however, because the demand for parking spaces far exceeds the supply, car owners resort to crazy measures to find and keep their space. street cleaning days are an opportunity to (1) grab a spot as someone with inevitably leave to avoid getting a ticket or (2) hold on to your spot by sitting in your car and waiting for the hour and a half window for cleaning goes by. it's a wonder that the streets ever get clean since most of the car owners just sit in their car and hold the spot so that the street cleaning vehicle must go around unmoved cars.

in any case, this morning at 8:30 i diligently went to the car, turned on the engine, and caught up on phone calls and reading magazines. the two hours passed relatively quickly and with no major incident. at 10:30, i left my car, locked the doors, set the alarm, and went to dagastino's to pick up some groceries. then i had a luxuriously lazy christmas eve day with the boy. we napped, met up with jpan and little fat, looked at the window displays at barneys and bergdoff goodman, and grabbed a delicious dinner of pa jun and jae yook kim chi bokkum at kung san gung.

as i walked with the boy to the parking garage, i noticed several notes taped to my car.

"Move your car! Your cheap alarm is Broken!"

"Your alarm went of ALL NIGHT dirtubring the entire neighborhood. Get it fixed or leave it off! Whose going to steal your car??? You're lucky no-one trashed it because of the annoyance!!!"

"Your car alarm sucks"

to top it off, there was a $125 ticket for noise disturbance and my car battery was dead from the alarm going off.

while i understand the annoyance of hearing a car alarm going off (much like i feel about hearing kids screaming in the park near my apartment, stupid concerts in the morning when i'm actually trying to sleep in, or my neighbor nailing things at random hours), it was (1) no way intentional, (2) part of living in the city and NOT A SUBURB, and (3) not necessary to call the cops.

i could continue to rant about it, but i will leave the future of these unsympathetic jerks (#2 needs to learn to use proper english- who is not whose) to fate because what goes around comes around.

season of giving

post college and among my circle of friends, the practice of exchanging gifts during the holidays had all but vanished. gift giving was reserved for birthdays and accompanied by treating the guest of honor to a fancy dinner. even within my family, the focus for gift giving has shifted to the little ones, and rightly so. in my opinion, christmas is all about the kids.

not that i don't enjoy gift giving, i just hate feeling obligated to do so. . and no place is the burden heaviest as it is at work. of course, for my superiors and associates there is no question or reluctance to give a token gift. instead, it becomes this stressful, expensive, and massive ordeal.

will i offend X if i don't get them a gift?

s**t, now i have to get Y a gift because Y got me a gift!

f**k, i forgot to get Z a gift!!


bah humbug.

the carpool thing

marv and i have been talking about carpooling for the past year and recently had joked about how by the time we got around to doing it, i will have already switched jobs. . . fate intervened and poor marv's car was stolen and left stripped last week. . . consequently, we have indeed starting carpooling.

the perks:
1. staying awake is a LOT easier with company
2. saving money on gas
3. i don't get in trouble for being late b/c it's marv's fault
4. i only hit the snooze once b/c i'm paranoid of making us both late

the drawbacks:
1. the likelihood of getting out on time is significantly lower
2. i can't use the commute to catch up on phonecalls
3. i miss my alone time to plan out my day, get lost in my thoughts, or decompress

overall, i'm enjoying the experience of carpooling. . . but not as much as i will enjoy the experience of not driving at all. 40 days left (and only 26 spent at work)!!!

The Man Rules

I got a laugh out of these- maybe you will too. . .

***Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " on purpose

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

spa hells

had a lovely friday off. normally i spend one of my two days off running random errands. on this particular friday, celestial actually had the day off so we kept each other company. met up at grand central at noon and headed down to chelsea. we stopped at t-mobile where they miraculously fixed my phone, shopped at shoegasm (yes, that is really the name of the store), then grabbed lunch.

after warming up over a bowl of soup, we braved the cold again and headed to bloomie nails on w 23rd and 7th ave. . . i had been looking forward to this for a couple weeks as it had been years since my last manicure and/or pedicure. mostly b/c i am too cheap to pay for something i can do a decent job of myself. however, my very generous and thoughtful friend theng got me a gift certificate for my birthday.

i asked for a mani/pedi and celestial requested a mani + 10 minute massage. we picked our colors and sat down. eugene, a quiet and young woman straight from korea helped me. before she put on my polish, she gave me the bill and i handed over my gift card.

eugene shot me a look of confusion. i explained that i had received a gift certificate within the past month and showed her the business card including the location we were at. this started what became a frenzy of chattering and debate in korean, chinese, and english. an authoritative associate came up to me and insisted that the gift certificate was not valid at their store. she explained that the owners had changed over and bloomie nail and spa belles are no longer affiliated. my argument that the business card i had been given the certificate with included the bloomie nail locations fell on deaf ears. i reluctantly pulled out the cash and asked to speak to the manager.

this lead to yet another frustrating conversation where it came up that this problem had occured before but out of respect for the spa belles owners being "korean too" they had not wanted to make waves and complain formally! instead they allow spa belles to continue to falsely advertise by continuing to use bloomie nail's name and consequently confuse their customers. i somehow felt cheated out of my relaxing afternoon and ended up canceling the pedicure.

my blood was boiling and it wasn't until later in the afternoon, after some more window shopping with celestial and grabbing a drink at markt that i had cooled down. i guess i learned my lesson to always confirm everything. . at the very least, eugene did a fabulous job and i have a new favorite nail color- russian navy!

forecasting

it all started wednesday morning.


lauren: did you hear? there's supposed to be a huge snow storm tomorrow. you should call out. the roads are going to be terrible.


v: well, we'll see what tomorrow's weather really brings. besides, i would never do that.


lauren: no, i know you wouldn't.


v: the only time i've ever called out was when i had pink eye. . . and only b/c i knew it was contagious.


of course, i went and checked the weather forecast online. wintry mix. that didn't sound so terrible, right? that didn't stop every other customer speaking ominously about the weather, associates fretting over the road conditions, and callouts to start rolling in during the afternoon. i was starting to worry that this was THE snowstorm of the season. . . you can imagine my surprise when i left work at 8pm to find only a light dusting of snow and a minimum of ice on the windshields. luckily, the snowplows had already made their way through the parking lots and the rain had melted away the remnants of snow on the roads. lucky for me- it was smooth sailing home.

getting drenched in the spirit

normally, the very day after thanksgiving, i set the christmas music station on my car stereo and blast it like it's no one's business. maybe it's working in retail and dealing with one too many angry customers and struggling with understaffing, but i have been feeling everything but festive.

this morning was somehow different. . .and somehow i felt the holiday spirit. i woke up early, made some coffee, decorated my mini-fake christmas tree, played some christmas music, and wrapped presents.

for lunch, i met up with celestial for dim sum in c-town. since it was just the two of us, we were seated with a bunch of strangers and got the sucky seats. . . the ones on the inside with the worst access to the cart ladies. i guess the restaurant had been recently rennovated and the new layout was not conducive for easing cart navigation. for the first time ever, i actually saw one lady run into the heels of the cart pusher in front of her. the lady in front turned around with an annoyed look on her face and shouted expletives in cantonese. kinda funny. . .you never expect to see a collision. the downside of our location is that we ended up only ordering three dishes which didn't completely satiate my dim sum craving, but did lead to the cheapest dim sum i've had yet!

after dim sum, we headed to soho to do a little shopping. we checked out the new muji store and cb2. i loaded up on cosmetics gifts and celestial and i went to forever 21 where we both went a little crazy. i picked up some cute, cheap jewelry and celestial got some fun going out clothes.

by 5, i was starving ($5.50 worth of dim sum is really not filling) so we headed to kura sushi for an early dinner. . . totally hit the spot and i feeling quite happy after two glasses of otokoyama. hopped on the 6 back home to find it was pouring. my paper bags completely disintegrated and i was left trying to carry my goodies home while shielding them as much as possible with my body. i'm sure it looked quite comedic, bags falling apart, merchandise spilling onto the ground, me trying to juggle it all. . . i was a mess but somehow managed to make it home in one piece and with everything in fairly good shape!

the countdown begins

Q2 recommended that i start counting down the days before i start my new job . . . that makes it sound like i hate my current job which simply isn't the case. what i do hate and will not miss for a second is:

1. the commute
2. the irregular hours
3. the commute
4. the expense and annoyance of having a car in nyc
5. and, oh yes, the commute

i am excited for the new year, beginnings, and better quality of life. . and most significantly, finally finding and moving towards a career that is more befitting of my skills and interests. not that i expect it to be a piece of cake, i know i have a lot to learn and will have to prove myself in a new environment, establish a solid reputation, and develop new relationships.

but i cannot wait to begin. . . not that i'm counting. . urm, just 60 days. . .

promising beginnings

it's been my personal goal for quite some time to establish a partnership with HRC and co-sponsor an event. unfortunately, my crazy work schedule has made it quite difficult to meet up and i've had to cancel on more than one occasion. so after months of playing phone & email tag, and with much relief, i was finally able to meet up with the LI coordinator for Human Rights Campaign (HRC) on my day off today.

we met up at her office in midtown west and chatted for nearly an hour, discussing different ways of partnering with HRC and participating in their upcoming events. there is an upcoming holiday party on tuesday, some events in long island in january, and the big annual gala in february. while i'm 110% behind this and believe in the cause, i have a limited amount of time to figure out how to make this happen (1) during the busiest season for my company, (2) amidst major changes in the leadership, and (3) being overstreched as it is in my current role.

it's a little daunting, but i've made a personal commitment and plan to see it through.

overhaul

since it looks like i'll be settling into my apartment more permanently, i've decided to invest more time and money into fixing up the place and making it more "V".

on my wish/to-do list. . .

1. new paint job
2. get rid of the futon and get a real bed with real matress (biggest mistake was getting rid of my mattress during the move here)
3. paint the hallway table red
4. replace the current light fixture with a chandelier
5. install a magnetic strip to hold knives
6. grow plants! (lucky bamboo, herbs)
7. get an old style phone so i can buzz people in
8. replace the old t.v. and table with a sofa bench
9. fix the spot lights in the kitchen

hmm. . .somehow, i suspect that by the time i finish my expanding to-do list, it'll be time to move. . .

nights in

work has been hellish of late- the holidays season and event on top of event is bringing all the crazies, scam artists, and assholes out of the woodwork. unfortunately, my fatigue (which i'm starting to attribute to irregular work schedule and hence sleep cycle, a noisy radiator, and crap blinds) wears away my patience and i'm finding myself growing increasingly irritable.

inability to sleep thursday night completely wiped me out and i had to cut ladies night short. while i enjoyed a delicious dinner prepared by celestial, i was unable to satisfy my dancing fix. luckily, i got a solid night's rest friday night and was able to celebrate theng & kev's b-days saturday night.

the b-day couple hosted a cranium/wii party hosted by the b-day couple. theng ordered chips, salsa, and guacomole from el paso taqueria and made spareribs and chicken. q2 played bartender. some interesting discoveries, (1) the boy and i both dislike and hence suck at "star performing"and (2) i can't name a tune to save my life. . . it was the perfect way to unwind- relaxing night in with good food, friends, drinks, and games.

spicy eyes

i feel like work beat me with a stick.

over the weekend, one of my departments lost an employee who failed to show up for her shifts. there was a call out in another department. i spent the majority of the day trying to keep every department covered which means cajoling associates to work extended shifts, begging associates to cover different departments, and nagging them to take their breaks and leave their departments at the appropriate times. to top it off, i also had two mandatory managers meetings and was scheduled to conduct interviews.

by one, i was a mess. . . what started as irritated eyes which i assumed was lack of sleep turned to a burning sensation, or mat cay, a vietnamese term which literally translates to "eye spicy". at lunch, i found it hard to keep my eyes open as they were tearing up. i removed all my eye makeup in hopes that it was an allergic reaction to a new eyeshadow. when that didn't resolve the irritation and the symptoms continued throughout the afternoon, i decided that maybe i'm allergic to work???

a night in provence

after spending the previous day as a bundle of nerves, i was glad to have tuesday as a real day off. despite having every intention of sleeping in, i started to stir around 7 AM and was completely restless by 7:30. i decided to get up and start my to-do list:

clean & organize apartment
laundry
dishes
catch up on emails
hit the gym

after showering and getting dressed, i hit a lazy lull and spent the remainder of the afternoon goofing off online and watching shrek 3 (great movie with lots of laughs). around 4PM i headed downtown for an appointment and then stopped by bloomies in soho. i did a little window shopping to kill time before meeting up for theng's b-day dinner at provence.

since none of my friends were free to grab a happy hour drink, i decided to pick up a magazine and head to the bar at the restaurant. i ended up chatting with the amicable bartender, shorty, for quite some time. . . turns out he's from australia who majored in math/comp sci in college who came to NYC for a long weekend vacation but ended working in the restaurant/bar industry here for 3.5 years. . . it's always fascinating to discover how people wind up in nyc. in any case, by the time Q2 and theng came, shorty was letting me test cocktails he was working on for a big event this weekend.

dinner was fabulous! the mixed reviews had me a bit worried, but the food was excellent, the service attentive, and the ambience warm and unpretentious. we shared the octopus appetizer served on a tasty bed of israeli couscous and lightly topped with greens. i ordered the flank steak which was incredibly flavorful and succulent (shorty's rec). Q2 ordered the venison which was also wonderful- the meat was not at all gamey and surprisingly sublte in it's flavor. theng ordered the seared scallops, perfectly prepared. over glasses of red wine, we sampled one another's entrees, gossiped, and indulged in girl talk. it was a lovely evening and a perfect end to my day off.

thanksgiving in PA

work was a bit crazy on the wednesday before thanksgving but i was worried about traffic going home. sher and i decided to grab a drink to kill time and let the traffic ease up a bit (hey, one drink is still under the legal limit, right?). we went to legal seafood and had a glass of wine and chatted for a bit.


luckily the drive was smooth sailing and i was able to pick up the boy around 7:45PM. despite stopping for fried chicken at popeye's, we managed to get to PA by 10PM. my parents arrived soon after and stayed up until midnight chatting. after they retired, we all sat around the living room, consumed a couple bottles of wine, and talked until 3 or 4 AM.

around 8AM, i started hearing commotion in the kitchen and decided to join the family for breakfast. my brother made a hearty breakfast of eggs, bacon, and home potatoes. i was quite impressed. after breakfast, we started preparing thanksgiving dinner- deep fried turkey, oyster casserole, green bean casserole, candied yams, mashed potatoes, sausauge/cornbread stuffing, and ham.

despite missing a couple steps and tools (you try mashing potatoes with a fork and making gravy without real turkey drippings) everything turned out beautifully *and most importantly TASTY* and as with any major meal, the preparation time exceeded the eating time by far.

despite the obvious hazards, i am also a convert and propoent for the fried turkey!! considerably tastire and juicier than the baked counterpart. after stuffing ourselves silling and cleaning up, we watched a bootlegged copy of american gangster and spent the remainder of the night in slothlike, food-coma induced state. . .ahhh, the way thanksgiving should be.

what a difference a year makes

every year, my company has a thanksgiving potluck luncheon for all the managers. last year i made a french cheese bread that was a hit. this year, i was the last to sign up and ended up with veggies. initially i was excited and planned to make collard greens but was (1) too lazy and (2) still sans stock pot. i decided instead to make an italian mixed vegetable salad comprised of roma tomatoes, chick peas, sliced white potatoes, and green beans tossed in a balsamic vinagrette. simple, fresh, and easy.

at one o'clock, the managers slowly trickled into the training room to feast on a smorgasboard of turkey, vegetable casserole, green bean casserole, yams, rice, stuffing, and various desserts. with the choice of carb-rich, fatty and delicious comfort food, my dish was sadly overlooked.

nonetheless we had a grand ol time. old faithful and TV started discussing which managers were missing from this year's luncheon. lazy L, lori, bangles, chester, and rika to name a few. then the conversation turned to who would be the next ones to leave. old faithful and TV started creating a list with probabilities and even pinpointed time lines for every manager's departure.

retail is a high-turnover business so none of this was shocking. however, the foresight demonstrated in the predictions struck me.

swazye
D
al
tormei
harried
cackle

i guess time will tell. . .

a V moment

it was just one of those mornings that started off. . . off. despite sleeping away the better part of sunday, i still managed to oversleep this morning. the alarm went off at 6:30 AM and i rolled out of bed around 7:15. i was in my car by 7:35 and on the road by 7:45.

as i put the car in drive, i turned on the radio, lights, and started to buckle my seat belt. for some reason, the seatbelt wouldn't go into the buckle. i continued to ram the seat belt in while i pulled out halfway onto the street waiting for an opening so i could cross over to the northbound side of traffic.

after edging my way into traffic, i looked down to see what was wrong with the seatbelt.

wtf!! my lucky cell phone charm was wedged into the seat belt buckle!! this is something only V can accomplish.

i tried tugging on the cell phone charm to no avail. damnit! it was wedged in there pretty good. what a crappy morning, running late and the rain was a guarantee for bad traffic, and now my cell phone is being held hostage by my seat buckle.

i tried to give the charm a few more hard tugs but nothing. so i used the buckle in the passenger seat which was an uncomfortable but quick fix. this is no ordinary cell phone charm. . it holds great sentimental value as it was a gift from da ge, a stone blessed in a Buddhist temple in hong kong. luckily, one of the guys from work was able to free the charm sans three beads.

does that mean i'll be three beads less lucky?

thanksgiving preparation

according to big bro, "we can all help out with the foold". no mention of who is cooking what, what cookware/ingredients he already has, etc, instead a faith that thanksgiving dinner will miraculously come together. . . i dunno if i'm not giving him credit but his laissez faire approach to preparing thanksgiving dinner for 8+ people makes me nervous.

and so i find myself spending part of my day off sitting in my room researching recipes and putting together a shopping list and menu for next thursday. the meats are easy- fried turkey (c'mon, i'm from the south) and ham. i've found a couple of good recipes. . .but what about the "traditional" sides, e.g. mashed potatoes, greenbean casserole, candid yams??

i call my sis to get her take on it.

sis: what are you up to?

v: trying to look up recipes for thanksgiving dinner?

sis: you're cooking?

v: well, what do you think is gonna happen if i leave it up to carter to cook.

sis laughs.

v: yea, i want to keep it simple. i wanna make a sausage and cornbread stuffing and oyster casserole but am not sure about greens. what do you think?

sis: that sounds good. what about an oyster stew. hmmm. or greenbean casserole. that's a standard. and creamed corn. you have to have creamed corn.

v: ugh. this is not helping me narrow down.

sis: well keep in mind that you are going to have a lot of people in the kitchen and it's not very big.

v: oh really?

sis: yea, don't you think alabaster will be in there cooking.

silence.

sis: yea maybe not.

v: ok, lemme think about this some more.

sounds of kids in the background.

sis: wes stop strangling your sister. do not jump on top of her. be gentle. you are hurting her!!!
(to me) sorry, i should go. i can't multitask. talk to wes.

v: wes, are you being a bad boy?

wes: huh?

v: wes, were you hurting your sister?

wes: she bit me!

v: well, that's not nice of her. but you shouldn't hurt your sister. apologize to t.

wes: i'm sorry ma ni. i'm sorry t.

v: ok, be nice to t. i love you.

wes: love you. talk to t?

v: sure.

t: hi ma ni.

v: did wes apologize to you?

t: no

v: yes he did, i heard him apologize.

t: yes he did.

v: did you bite wes?

t: yes.

v: why did you bite your brother?

t: he jumped on me!

v: was he trying to hurt you or play with you?

t: he was playing with me.

v: well then, it's not nice to bite people. he was not trying to hurt you. you are brother and sister and have to take care of eachother even if you are annoyed. ok?

t: yes, ma ni.

v: ok, i love you.

t: i love you too.

only a mother would boast

i've been running around like a madwoman these days with the holiday season. i go back into my office to grab some papers and notice there is a VM on my phone. . .

missed call. vern.

hmm, that's odd. my family almost never calls me when they know i'm at work. i call the VM to see what's going on.

vern: i just wanted to call and tell you that your nephew finally pooped on the potty today. twice! he'd been holding it in for days and he finally did it!!!

the pride in her voice was noticeable. ha ha. . i think this is something i will only understand if & when i have children. (yes taz, if and when)

of course, i was proud of the little tyke and felt bad when vern was so upset it was taking him so long. . so i called him up and praised him for being such a big boy.

v: wes, i'm so proud of you!! i heard you pooped on the potty. what a big boy you are!

wes: i did it! i pooped on the potty. only babies poop in diapers. i pooped on the potty!!!

talkers

i stopped by eulalie's parents' house on the way home from work. while i always love seeing eulalie, i was sad for the reason of her visit back east. her grandfather had passed away last weekend and she had flown back to NY to spend his last days with him.

as the way with eulalie's family, they welcomed me into their home with warm embraces, interesting conversation, and a home cooked indian meal. fish curry, dosas, peanut chutney!! twas a beautiful way to unwind after what felt like a long day of dealing with difficult customers.

after dinner, eulalie's parents, eulalie, and i sat around in the living room and talked about relationships for our generation- marriage, the prevalence of divorce, commitment, etc. it was an interesting and candid discussion that i could never imagine having with my own parents. before i knew it, three hours had passed and i had to drag myself home.

the evening was a reminder of how much i miss my conversations and enjoy my friendship with eulalie. here's hoping she'll find her way back to the northeast. . .