starting new friendships as a single woman

it's always tricky starting new friendships with guys, especially when you are currently unattached. . . maybe it's the prudish side of me or something. my parents' reminder for me to act dang wang or proper. this is especially true in front of people of the opposite sex. this means- no flirting, talking or laughing too loudly, touching inappropriately, and heaven forbid- drinking more than one alcoholic drink in public!

perhaps this is why i've always been a bit cautious with how i act with guy friends. at least in the beginning of a friendship and particularly if i suspect that a guy might be interested in more than friendship (and i'm not feeling the same way). so while i'm generally an affectionate person, i always try to maintain distance and minimize physical contact until i'm sure the friendship is solid.

you might think this is silly. . .but i've learned from experience. in college i made the mistake of being friendly to a guy that i thought was just a friend. then it got messy because he was interested in more and i wasn't.

so i found myself in one of these beginning stages of a new friendship with a guy and in an awkward moment. we decided to meet up for drinks. as usual, the conversation was nice and i found myself having a good time. we closed the place down and as we said goodbye, there was a slight awkward pause where had it been a date, you would hug or kiss. luckily there was enough distance between us that it would have been too obvious had he made a move.

in retrospect- i wonder if i'm being slightly paranoid/neurotic. i've been in one serious relationship after another for the past 10 years and now as a young, single woman i am finding myself in a lot of new situations. i'm comin to the realization that i am woefully inexperienced with handling weird "dating" situations, flirtatious encounters, and relationships with men. i have a feeling it's going to be an interesting 2006. . .