when a bad date just gets worse

went out with D on saturday night in brooklyn. met this guy on sat night- let's just call him numero 5. vietnamese american with a bit of an edge. thought he was interesting and seemed nice. exchanged numbers and talked about getting together for dim sum for chinese new years.

next day i just felt like vegging. . .blame it on going out two nights in a row, being hung over, getting too little sleep, and the winter weather. all i wanted to do was stay under my warm covers, knit, look at the internet, and watch dvd's. numero 5 called in the PM hoping to grab dinner but i wasn't up to it and suggested later in the week. i suppose it should have been a warning sign that he was calling the next day and wanted to hang out so soon after meeting. i mean on one hand it's nice to know that a guy is interested, but somehow it just sort of reeked of desperation. in any case, i was trying to keep an open mind and figured one date couldn't hurt, right?

so we meet up after work on monday in the LES. the bar he recommended was closed so we walked to st. marks and ended up at a thai restaurant i've been meanin to try. date started of nice and normal. talked about our families, life experiences, religion, etc. . .but things definately moved into the weird zone once we went to a nearby sake bar for an after dinner drink. numero 5 went from being laid back and cool to super intense and borderline psycho. after i turned down his suggestion to go to his place (or mine), he started drilling me on whether i was dating someone else, why i wouldn't go home with him, and going on an on about how great he thought i was and how he didn't want to spend anytime apart from me. oh yes, and let's throw in major bouts of jealousy and guilt tripping. for a guy that claims to be happy being alone, he was sure hankering for something serious!

by now, there were major warning bells ringing and i was trying to figure out how to gracefully extricate myself from this awkward predicament. eventually i made it home (ALONE- thank heaven) with the understanding that we wouldn't be seeing one another again. since monday i've gotten three calls and one text from numero five. . .and i just can't seem to understand how any sane person would act that way on a first date!!! i mean, would anyone think this type of behavior is attractive?? ugh.

so- lessons learned:

1. if a guy calls you the day after you first met- just might be a sign of needy/possessive/stalker qualities

2. there are A LOT of freaks out there, especially in new york, so be careful of who you give your number out to

3. go for more neutral ground on a first date and have a backup plan