feeling a little torn

i awoke this morning overwhelmed by a sense of melancholy- it's been creeping up on me for a few days now. and inspite of my pretenses and feeble attempts to drown it out with happy music and mindless distractions, this feeling of sadness persists, troubling my sleep, and weighing me down.


these feelings are at odds with the blessed life i lead- one full of amazing relationships, loving friends and family, exciting prospects. and yet, no matter what i do or where i go, i can never escape it completely. because inevitably, i am reminded of the troubled life of another- marked by loneliness, paranoia, and bitterness. it is enough to make me weep.

so today, even though i recognize doing so will resolve nothing, i allowed myself to be sad. i listened to songs that reflect my somber mood. i took a long walk- losing myself and my thoughts in the crowds, and hoping to find the strength to stop running away.