high fidelity take 2

groggy from my afternoon nap on president's day- i hear my phone beep indicating a text. glancing down i see a text from rex-mex. . . curious. . .

rex-mex: hey- i'm doing the whole john cusack hi fidelity thing- are u open to talking? feel free to say no.


v: yea sure


rex-mex: does now work?


v: before 8pm is fine.


ring ring.


textmex: i really appreciate you talking to me. i am deconstructing past relationships to gain insight on why i keep repeating the same mistakes.

v: ok, what's the problem?

rex-mex: i keep seeking out emotionally unavailable women. they string me along, flirt with me, and i keep going back to them. but they don't want to commit so i eel as though i have to convince them to be with me. it makes me feel terrible and insecure. then the women that i meet who are truly interested in me and are interested in a relationship, i don't want.

v: hmm. . . maybe it's the thrill of the chase and the challenge that you like?

rex-mex: i don't think that's it. i feel miserable.

v: are you truly ready for a serious relationship? maybe you are subconsciously choosing women who reject you because you really are not ready to settle down. maybe you are scared of having another unsuccessful marriage?

rex-mex: no, i am ready.

v: then that doesn't make sense.

back and forth- me suggesting possible explanations and him ruling it out.

v: well, i dont' know what's going on but you are too old to be making the same mistake and wasting your energy on women that don't value you. you aren't getting any younger and if you do want to remarry and have children, you need to break out of these bad cycles. it'll just leave you feeling depressed and go no where.

rex-mex: i know, you are right. i don't know why i keep doing this. well, thanks for talking. . .i am just grasping for straws and trying to get as many viewpoints as possible, maybe something will make sense and strike a chord.

after our conversation ended, i was troubled. not that rex-mex was unhappy per se- but just how his situation signifies the reality that there are no guarantees in life. we all are responsible for the decisions that we make- which means that while one may make the right choices and find happiness, one may make bad choices and fuck up their life. scary thought.