3 times a bridesmaid. . .not that i'm counting

the other night, one of my girlfriends called to ask me to be her bridesmaid. it's always an honor so i gushingly accepted. . . so there's a saying that goes "3 times a bridesmaid - never a bride":

1. big sis's wedding

2. mango princess's wedding

3. my girlfriend's wedding next year

unfortunately i'm superstitious. . fortunately, i'm feeling pretty relationship/marriage phobic these days so the idea of not getting married doesn't bother me too much. i have too many girlfriends with relationships that are less than great, have seen too few marriages that are truly happy, and know too many people that wind up settling. i wonder if i'm too much of a romantic and am asking for too much out of marriage. . surely i realize that marriage and love are not perfect and that a relationship is not always going to be exciting, fresh, and wonderful. i am not convinced yet that there are soulmates. . .i just want to find a relationship where i am completely in love with the other person and feel that this is the most amazing man i've met and who has those feelings for me. . .

right now i am young and carefree and am willing to wait for that special connection. . but i worry that i will get tired of waiting, i will become impatient and settle for less. . afterall, no one is an island though and that all people crave companionship at the end of the day. i know that i myself am just learning to be "alone" and truly embrace and enjoy that freedom.

ahh, this is too much serious talk. . . but here's to keeping the romantic in me alive and enjoying myself along the way!