miss natalie

the funny thing about getting older- is how life's black and whites become increasingly gray. for some time, i've had a particular stance about nannies. the idea just didn't seem right- it seemed some how irresponsible or cold to have children and opt not to be the primary caregiver.


for me, a large reason to have children would be to enjoy the process of raising and spending time with them. plus, there are so many potential downsides to the nanny business. can you really trust another person to look after your children the way you would? how do you find a good nanny? will your children be resentful or distant if they spend the majority of their week with a nanny and would this ruin their emotional development? would you regret missing so many special moments and memories that occure in ordinary, day-to-day life?

taz challenged my views in a long conversation many years ago. . . and i began to see how done properly, a nanny can be an extension of the family and facilitate rather than replace parenting. this was highlighted in my trip to visit my sister and her brood in gainesville a couple of weeks ago.

this past spring, vern had decided to hire a nanny that could watch the kids on tuesdays and thursdays while she worked part-time. it was a tough decision that was met with much resistance from my mother and self-inflicted guilt on the part of my sister. however, miss natalie, a beautiful, sweet, woman-child of a character, has been working out beautifully. . . and because of my long stay in florida, i would have the opportunity to observe miss natalie, see how she interacted with my sister and the kids, and assess the general dynamics of the situation.

i'm glad to say that it works well. miss natalie was a natural with the kids. she's an interesting, bright young woman- so eager to please and quite lost in many ways. within minutes of meeting- she was confiding everything to me from her dysfunctional family who stopped supporting her at age 17 which left her working multiple jobs to pay for her schooling, bills, housing, etc to her current romantic relationship. her rough upbringing forced her to grow up too quickly and give her a bit of an edge that is oddly contrasted by an undeniable cloud of naivete and youthful bravado. she has big dreams and i sincerely hope that she manages to overcome her current circumstances and continue to better herself. however, as miss natalie talked in circles about her various interests, her desire to have a whole "football team" of children, and the details of her drama-filled-as-only-in-high-school relationship i foresaw that this would be no easy task.

but for the time being, the kids adore miss natalie, she's fun but firm and likes to play games and music, but as soon as mommy is home- it's all about mommy. not only are my niece and nephew as attached to my sister as ever, they are well adjusted kids who are lucky to be in such a warm, loving environment.

the inconvenience of small living spaces

it was love at first sight the moment i set eyes on my apartment. . . it's a small but beautiful space with amazing closets, a large (for ny) kitchen, nice hard wood floors, and to the ceiling windows. there isn't much i would change- except for more counter space and a bigger fridge.

a small (and i mean mini size) fridge means more frequent trips to the grocery store and eating fresher foods since i only have just enough space for a few days worth of food. this has proven challenging for dinner parties, finding room for leftovers, and stocking up at rare trips to stew leondards, chinatown, or trader joes. overall, i think it encourages a healthy approach to living so i don't mind.

while i have a decent amount of counterspace- i like to keep my kitchen looking as uncluttered as possible. . . for two years i only used a stovetop coffeemaker but eventually switched to a mini coffee maker as a compromise. i don't have a toaster, microwave, or toaster oven, blender, or food processor. while i manage without, some days, i feel a longing for the convenience of a toaster oven or microwave.

today is one of those days. by the time i rolled out of bed and the boy had left to head home, it was 2pm. i was starving and lunch would have to be quick and easy. tuna melt!!

i dumped a can of tuna in a bowl and mixed in some dijon. put the spread on whole wheat toast and covered it with a layer of wasabi cheese. ok, so now i need to warm up the tuna, bread, and melt the cheese. if i was at work, i would heat the tuna in a microwave and toast the bread. i don't have those options. . .so i crank up the oven to broil and pop in the sandwich for a few minutes. . yes, easy, but i feel it's such a waste of energy.

the anti-bachelorette party

it was a bit tough trying to figure out what to do for VK's bachelorette party. the majority (e.g. everyone but me) of the bridesmaids are on the west coast so it would be a small party.

the generic "get wasted and embarass the bride-to-be by forcing her to wear an obnoxious tiari/veil or outfit and carry out mortifying acts to the amusement of the bridesmaids" just didn't seem right. a strip club would be just awkward and not really enjoyable for anyone. . .

the idea of riding mechanical bulls seemed promising. . . perhaps it's because superficially it would be so out of character for VK but at the same time, i would bet money that she'd be good. she's stubborn as hell and don't let her slight frame fool you, she's got crazy upper body strength! but this activity also warranted a bigger crowd.

in the end, i opted for dinner at cube63 and a burlesque show at the slipper room. with the afternoon off, i was the first to head to the LES. i stopped by september on stanton and ludlow to pick up some wine for dinner and was pleasantly surprised by their extensive selection of bourbons/whiskey which included some small distillery stuffs. after getting a couple of recommendations from one of the staff, i was on my way a bottle of sweeter white wine that would please theng and VK and a dry sparkling wine for myself.

cube63 is what you imagine a japanese restaurant in the LES to be: gray walls with minimal decor (ikea-esque?), pumping music, and good- perhaps average- sushi (with small portion sizes). . . sigh, this is what comes from straying from the tried and true. . . nevertheless, we enjoyed the byob-ness of the place although we were unable to finish our wine and giving it to the table of southerners next to us. all in all, a fun spot and no serious regrets.

after a stroll through babeland- afterall, this was a bachelorette party- VK and i headed to the slipper room. unfortunately, my research proved me wrong and the show started at 9:30 rather than the 8:45 that i had previously thought. we chatted away the time and secured a table close to the stage. the 20's style band was great and got us into the vibe. the first act- superb. the performer had a great presence, sultry voice perfectly suited for a breathy, bluesy number, and voluptuous as you would expect. i was sold. but then the second act consisted of a poetry reading by a man dressed in greek/roman influenced garb. unfortunately, i don't remember a word he was saying because the whole thing really focuses on a plastic bag strapped to the man's pelvic area which is filled with wine being quickly emptied by two staged volunteers sucking on straws connected to said bag. i guess effective. it was downhill from there. . . after a completely unimaginative act by a young blond woman with a nice figure but no real pizazz, there was a very. long. break.

we waited. we waited. we waited some more. . then we decided to leave.

altogether, a fun night (hopefully for VK) where we got to try new things without embarassing anyone. the mechanical bull will have to wait for LA. . .

the conclave

this week has been busier than most. twice a year- the company flies in all of our department managers to nyc for 4 days of meetings that include strategy sessions, vendor presentations, internal discussions, etc. like a wedding- it feels like months of preparation slip away into just moments of time. . . although this week has felt far lengthier.

while i consider myself an early riser- being at work before 8AM has been a stretch even for me. so my week has consisted of rushing between the office and the hotel where the majority of meetings are held to catch whichever meeting, trying to get my normal workload done as well as catch up with last week's work since i was on vacation, and meet & greet key people. days end late with company dinners stretching into the evening.

of course- my high maintenance self has been struggling to retain some semblance of a routine but gym outings have been intermitten and sleep too scarce. but, it's almost over and i'm looking forward to easing into a laid back and restful weekend.

the problem with posting

i've been inconsistent of late. i start a post and never finish it. or the urge to blog passes and then days go by and i forget whatever incident spurred my desire to blog.

the boy suggested i use twitter- it's easy and doesn't involve the time committment and energy that writing a full post. best of all, it allows me to do what my initial intent of starting a blog was, to keep my friends who are scattered far and wide, up to date on my life.

so let's see how it goes. . . i have a good feeling.

Just a taste of Miami

“you are so white!!!” exclaimed vern (my big sis) as she greeted me at the baggage claim in Miami with Stretch, her husband, and kids, T and Wes, in tow.

V: yea, I hope to work on that this weekend!

Unfortunately, weather did not cooperate. After finding our hotel, Island Souse located on Collins near 14th st, we suited up and headed to the beach which was conveniently located just a couple blocks away. I laid out my towel and got situated and the kids raced to the water, vern trailing behind. Just as I started to get comfortable, I started to feel a sprinkling of rain.

V: uh oh. This is just my luck. . this doesn’t look too good.

Families and couples nearby started packing up.

Stretch: yea, looks like it may rain. Maybe they know something we don’t know?

V: well, let’s see if it passes.

For the next couple hours, the kids played in the water and sand, I chatted with Stretch, and waited out the weather. Though the clouds looked gloomy, the weather held out enough for us to have a nice little afternoon at the beach. Around 5 we decided to pack up and head back to the hotel so Wes could nap before dinner.

For dinner, we opted for Cuban and headed to Versailles based on my experience at an offshoot in LA and reviews attesting to its authenticity and warning of poor service. It was a huge restaurant with a cafeteria style meets garish décor but all I cared about was the food. We ordered calamari, a sampler of deep fried treats, ropa vieja, Versailles chicken, and a Cuban sandwich. What we got was comfort food at its near best- satisfying and filling! Despite being ready to burst, we indulged in flan and tres con leches. Deliciously decadent and worth the discomfort of an overly full belly.

I never slept so well! Unfortunately, our second day at the beach was not to be. The thunderstorms that started in the early hours continued on and off throughout the day. So instead, we decided to leave Miami early and head to Orlando, check out the Millenium Mall, and get dinner at Pho Hoa. While I was a little disappointed that our time in Miami was cut short, a real Vietnamese dinner all about made up for it!

farewells, impressions, and kielbasa

feeling 49% overwhelmed with work and 49% in need of a night in and relaxing, the chances that i'd make it to nel's going away party in brooklyn were pretty slim. however, i had already made plans with a couple of work friends, the nose and miss honey, to join the festivities and attend an art gallery opening earlier in the week.

by 4pm i was feeling pretty good with my progress for the day and the nose's email reminder about the evening settled the matter. afterall, work would still be there tomorrow and i would regret not saying good bye to nels and k before they left for iowa. so the three of us headed out to willie-b to radegst biergarden.

we easily found the group- mostly anthropology people - who was settled in at a large wooden table. we ordered a round of drinks and pate before testing out the kielbasa and bratwurst. the food was excellent (though the kielbasa was far better than the bratwurst), affordable, hearty, and perfectl complemented drinking. except for the surly barmaid, i think radegst is worth another visit and a fun place to hang out.

the crowd was a mix of familiar but long forgotten faces and mingling involved awkward and half hearted attempts at conversation. i suppose that's not unsurprising, i was never that friendly with any of them except for george. consequently, i found myself spending the majority of the night chatting with the nose and miss honey and at times feeling like the observer/referree. having had a couple of glasses of wine, the nose was loosening up and sharing his impressions of miss honey, our work place, etc.

the nose: you are so contrary to our company and don't fit in the mix. you are very refined. i can see you owning a boutique or working for a lingerie company.

miss honey: (with a look of alarm) what do you mean? i'm too refined? what about her (pointing to me)?

the nose: she will do great. she's got an edge to her. you are really refined. i don't see you wheeling and dealing. you have to be able to be tough and scary.

miss honey: i can be tough. plus, my boss says that is something that is developed with age and confidence.

v: (i watch as it all starts to unravel and miss honey taking it too much to heart, i subtly gain the nose's attention) hey man, be careful with what you say.

the nose: sorry, i've had too much to drink. my words are getting away with me. it's not that you aren't smart or able. i just imagine you marrying some rick european man and living in a chatelet and running a household. you'll be fully capable of managing a staff and firing people. chuckling.

miss honey: that doesn't sound too bad. . but it's not the 21st century.

the conversation eventually veers away, but i can see that miss honey has been unsettled and her confidence ruffled. i remembered a time not too long ago when i was easily swayed and unsure of myself. and so on the trainride back to the city i tried to point out what i believe was the nose's real message- that to succeed you have to find an environment that you can thrive in. if you are a more passive, naive, and laid back person, you will be unlikely to succeed in a more aggressive, corporate environment. if you are more calculating and focused only on individual advancement, you might not do as well in a small company that relies heavily on collaboration and teamwork. better to find an environment that suits your personality, because the happier you are at work, the better your work will actually be, and hence the more successful you will ultimately be.

unfortunately, i could see that my argument did little to encourage miss honey. . . so funny how that is, that you can hear 100 good things about yourself and forget them in a second, but one negative comment will nag you forever.

running on empty

the past week and a half have seen a flurry of activity that has left me a bit drained.

on friday, the boy and i headed out to philly to celebrate my bro's birthday. we had a relaxing 4th of july, take out wings and pizza and a few dvd's. saturday involved an eye exam, cheesesteak excursion, trip to a chinatown grocery store, and bbq/bday party prep. there was plenty of good eats, drinks, and music (btw, kudos to the boy for egging me on to experience beer pong for the first time in my life)!

we woke up around 11 sunday morning and lazed around a bit. big bro made us a yummy breakfast of sausage, bacon, eggs, and toast before giving us a lift to the chinatown bus. we made our way back to nyc, stopping to get boba tea before heading back uptown to nap. for dinner, the boy and i met up with taz for 3 recession meals at gray's papaya (two hot dogs with toppings and a drink for less than $4 each). the 100% beef hot dogs were quite good and the snap from the casing gave way to the juicy center. the drink was good but a bit too sweet and smoothy like for my tastes.

after polishing off dinner, we headed to park slope for drinks and bocce. whether the hotdogs were not filling enough or we managed to work up an appetite, the next stop was schillers in the LES for a late night snack. the nachos were delicious as usual.

always the busiest day of the work week, this monday's dreadfulness was compounded by the extra reports and analysis necessitated by the end of the fiscal month and insufficient sleep. i managed to hold out until 6pm and headed downtown to meet taz, his new lady friend S, and VK for dinner at mercadito grill. to my delight, the fish tacos were excellent and better than the previous visit. i tried to stay focused during dinner, but ended up excusing myself around 9pm to head home for a quick workout and good night's rest.

tuesday was feeling back to my normal. the work week has been flying by as i'm trying to cram a week and a half of work into one in preparation for my upcoming trip to florida. had a nice dinner with taz at totoya where we deconstructed my behavioral patterns and various other topics. after dinner, we enjoyed ice cream from sedutto near my apartment.

a sudden change of plans with jpan and xiaopang have resulted in the cancellation of friday's dinner party which left me unexpectedly free tonight and tomorrow night. celestial and i decided to meet up for dinner at kura sushi where we were joined by Q2. the night ended later than expected and i find myself feeling weary from all the week's activity. . . . i think i need a vacation before my vacation!