the sorry state of my ipod

sigh. . i bought my ipod not even a year ago. it was one the fritz for awhile and it took me weeks to find the time to finally take it to the apple store in SoHo to be fixed. . i did everything they said and it was fine for a couple days. it was so great being able to listen to music to, whether it is on the subway, at work to tune out psychological counseling coversations going on in neighboring offices, or working out. . . i don't know how i survived without music for a month.

alas, my ipod is acting up again. whereas before it just wouldn't do anything, now it stalls and skips around songs.

think i'll have exhange it this weekend. . .

b-more

on a whim and without planning (i know- quite uncharacteristically of me), i decided to take a short trip to bmore to visit cassanova. she is one of my dearest friends and we go way back to grade school. we had been talking about taking a trip together in may but it had never panned out. i gave her a ring friday morning to see what her memorial weekend plans were. since she didn't have anything major planned, i decided to catch the train down to b-more on saturday and come back home on sunday afternoon.

got to penn station by 9:35 AM and was seated by 10 AM. luckily, my ipod is working again so i was able to just sit back, relax, and enjoy the view while being serenaded by ray charles.

cassanova picked me up from the train station. we met up with rdev and had lunch at paper moon. . an eccentric diner with wacky memoriabilia and random toys, antiques, and mannequins. since i was in MD, i decided to order the crabcake sandwich with a side of broccoli. it hit the spot.

after lunch, the three of us walked around johns hopkins campus, the outdoor statue exhibit, and ft. henry. it was a very pleasant afternoon of sightseeing, banter, and walking. around 5:30, rdev headed back to NOVA, cassanova and i did what we do best. talk. i love my girlfriends and being able to have those deep, philosophical conversations.

we're going to head out to dinner then regress to our college hay day and have a proper slumber party. . . cheesy chick flicks, bad for you snacks, and staying up til the wee hours talking. chicken soup for the female soul.

dining with clients

returning home from the gym, i was greeted with an email from bigB. she had forgotten to tell me about an assignment and needed me to take care of it this week. . .note: this email was send at 4:33 AM on friday morning, my day off. being the busy bee that i am, i called the temp and worked with her via phone to get the project taken care of. around noon, debs calls and pleads with me to go to dinner with clients. . .sigh, and the grad student mentality that hasn't completely been forsaken in me was won over by her last point "free dinner".

so i got dressed in my business attire, stopped at the apple store to fix my ipod, then headed to the the westside. dinner reservations were at churascarria plataforma, an upscale brazilian all you can eat steakhouse. the evening consisted of the CEO and CFO forcing us to drink lots of wine, ganbei ganbei, eating a delicious meal with top quality meats, and trying to keep up with the conversation that was 70% chinese 30% english. i really need to work on my chinese. having I's and debs company made the dinner quite pleasant, and the CEO and CFO were quite affable.

after dinner, I, debs, and i headed to union square and helped I find a dress for a wedding she was attending. around 9:30 i went to cafe spice to meet up with pintobean for drinks as it was her last night in nyc. . tear to see her go.

pisco sour, wild boar pate, oh my!

after weeks of talking about it, i finally got the chance to check out freemans with q2.

pretty difficult to find-nestled in freemans alleyway off of rivington in the LES. great effect though. walking down that alley made me feel like i was escaping from the city into a low-key (but fancy) country lodge. stepping inside the restaurant, i noticed animal heads with antlers decorating the walls and sitting at the bar up front was q2 nursing a glass of red wine.

i ordered the pisco sour (salud e!) and watched as the cute waitress in a dapper hat expertly prepared the frothy drink using pisco (national liquor of peru), lemon, egg white, and sugar. luckily, q2 and i had a lot to catch up on so the long long wait for our table (no reservations for parties under 6) passed by relatively quickly.

we were finally seated in a dimly lit alcove. three or four tables fit snugly in the space. the restaurant's set up was very intimate, booths in the back and another bar area near the restrooms.

q2 and i ordered everything to share starting with the wild boar appetizer served with crusty slices of a baguette, a fruity and tart relish, small pickles, and a side of greens. starved, we devoured the dish. while some might be offset by the hardiness of the pate, we both enjoyed the meatiness and flavor of the pate. next, came the fennel and endive salad paired with broiled trout seasoned with lemon and rosemary. while these were good selections, i was not so impressed. i like my restaurant dining to consist of meals that i could not recreate easily at home. the trout was delicious, simply prepared, but very similar to what i have cooked in the past. for dessert, we ordered the rhubarb crumble. it was exquisite. there was a tantalizing balance of crunchiness from the crust, smoothness from the base, tartness from the rhubarb, and rich creaminess from the homestyle icecream.

all in all a wonderful dining experience. but next time, i think i'll order the pork chops!

what do i look like

went to the bank this morning. . .

teller: hi ma'am, i can help you here.

V: thanks. . do i look like a ma'am?

teller: um, no?

V: ha ha ha. i'm just giving you a hard time.

inside, i'm freaking out that i am starting to look old. . i hardly get carded anymore. . even though i feel like i look pretty much the same way that i did in high school- albeit better sense of style and changes in my hair color! sigh. . 30 is just a hop skip and a jump away.

nothing as annoying as. . .

the people that work at kinkos!

if anyone is a dave chapelle fan, they will know how on the mark the skit on these type of places are. . i really believe that their philosophy is to be sufficiently (insanely) incompetent until you get so annoyed with them you don't go back. . now, i rarely lose my temper, but i somehow find myself yelling everytime i go there or am on the phone with them. . .sigh. . the little angry asian girl in me comes out.

serenity now.

pomp and circumstance

lately, it seems i blog a lot about going back to VA. well. . . here's another post about a trip home. my brother in law was graduating from med school- being such an important moment, and representing a pivotal time in his and therefore my sister's life, i thought i should be there.

graduation was saturday morning. . very long very boring. . as all graduations go. . .but there is something very majestic about the pomp and circumstance song. . . in the middle of the song, my niece burst into tears, uncontrollable tears. . she was so moved by the melancholy nature of the song that she couldn't control herself. i was astounded. . my mom and sister had told me that tj doesn't like sad songs but i had never witnessed it myself. even when we tried to tell her the song was for a happy occasion, she was inconsolable.

i'm telling you . . besides being beautiful, intelligent, and good natured, my niece is going to be an artist/genius!

cab ride conversations

it's interesting how much personal information an individual is willing to share with a complete stranger. . .but perhaps it is that anonymity that makes an individual unhibited about sharing their personal story.

after grabbing a few drinks with debs and Q2 at our favorite LES watering hole, i got into a cab back to williamsburg. having heard a report earlier in the day about cab drivers wanting a fare hike to compensate for rising gas prices. the cab driver and i discussed gas prices and how it's crazy how the US government doesn't tax gasoline consumption more. the cab driver explained how he was from turkey. . .that he wanted to go back there but was trapped in marriage. he told me i was young and i should avoid marriage as long as possible.

his wife was american and they were going to get a divorce. she had pressured him into getting married after dating for two years. the marriage has been a failure and though he wants to be happy, he is wracked with guilt at the thought of leaving his near 60 year old soon to be ex-wife. no matter how hard he tried he couldn't make her happy, their joint business ventures had failed, and she had never been able to have children. he spoke highly of his wife, stating that she is one of the nicest people he knows and he loved her as a person but their marriage was only getting worse. he complained that his problem was always dating women that wanted to marry him.

i reflect on that conversation with some sadness. it's always disappointing to see relationships and especially marriages that don't work out. i suppose in this case, the cabbie married for the wrong reasons. . a bad way to start a marriage.

earlier in the evening, debs had talked about how she wanted to take the non-traditional route and never marry, instead having boyfriends the rest of her life. we joked about how she would have one in every city. then she would tell Q2 and i how it is. is it normal to be so young and be so skeptical of marriage? yet, for me in spite of all the unhappy, bad marriages i have seen, the romantic in me still retains the belief that truly happy marriages exist. so i'm rooting for all my friends that are in them, because they help me keep the hope alive!

falling in and out of love

lately i've found myself thinking a lot about the past. triggered partially by a question posed by nels. . . what caused me or when did i fall out of love with my ex? in the midst of sorting through old photos that i could submit for nels and george's party, i realize how much of my adult life was spent with the ex. i forget sometimes, that life that we shared and the path i chose not to take, somehow it seems like something i've read in a book or seen in a movie.

so what went wrong?

certainly there was a period when i was in love with the ex. in fact, i remember the beginning as being fairytale like. a strong emotional connection from early on. after the honeymoon period, i remained content- able to rationalize our differences, afterall, the ex treated me well and we got along fine.

i guess the hard thing to pinpoint is how one can go from being in love to falling out of love.

i think i feel for the ex because he was the opposite of my previous boyfriend, and was what i needed at that particular time in my life. my previous ex had been noncommital/standoffish, selfish, immature, and unkind. (not to say he was a bad guy, we were very young and he had family issues) in comparison, the ex was a breath of fresh air- loving, giving, caring, sweet, affectionate, etc. so the beginning was great- neither of us held back, didn't question anything, and put a lot of energy into the relationship. nevertheless, it wasn't enough in the end.

i think the differences- in interests, life goals, styles, personalities, etc became impossible for me to ignore. in the course of our dating, i had somehow lost sight of what i wanted and who i was. the failure of that relationship taught me that it is absolutely non-negotiable to know who you are, what you are looking for, and to find that someone that loves you exactly the way you are. (btw, this is a problem with all the asian mothers out there pressuring their daughters to marry young- how many 20 year olds know who they really are?)

that all being said, does that mean relationships with passionate uninhibited beginnings are destined to fail? does the alternative- taking it slow and holding back, work any better? in reality, there is probably no right or wrong answer. . . and falling in love and staying in love is just a matter of circumstance, luck, hard work, and faith.

oversleeping

i overslept again. sunday night i didn't fall asleep until after 11 and that threw a wrench in getting up at 5:45 AM to get to the gym by 6:15, back home by 7:30 and on my way to work by 8:20. . . hmm. . oddly this sounds close to my undergrad morning routine!!!

instead, i woke up monday morning at 7AM, ate breakfast, showered and got to work early to get a head start. i rushed home after work to eat quick dinner before heading to the gym around 8pm. i finished up around 10pm. so the downside to exercising at night is that while i'm physically tired my mind is wide awake and i couldn't fall asleep until after 11 PM, thus leading to a cycle of "oversleeping".

missed my workout this morning and feeling bummed about that. . . i have dinner plans with debs, canton girl, and Q2 so unless i flake completely or leave directly after dinner, i won't be able to fit in a workout today.

i've always preferred morning workouts immediately after waking up so i'm not hungry yet, i get a good start to the day and am less likely to skip my workouts, the gym is less crowded, and i have my nights free to hang out with my friends/do work/relax, etc.

regardless, i just need to settle into a routine so i can be consistent about it.

brain fuzz

friday night was having dinner at the burmese restaurant on e7th between 2nd and 3rd ave with nels, aub, and baabs. baabs is getting ready to move to florida for her husband's work. she was talking about all the great, diverse ethnic foods that she would be missing once she moved to gainesville.

when she mentioned dim sum, i suggested that we all go on sunday. so i offered to organize a group to go on sunday. dim sum is best enjoyed with chinese friends and adventurous eaters. so i sent a quick email out inviting Q2, tchan, R, debs, cantongirl, george, nels, k, baabs, and her hubby for dim sum on sunday. tchan had suggested dim sum go go and while their food is tasty, i feel like without the carts being pushed around, loud chinese eaters, and rude waiters, it's just not dim sum.

so sunday a little after noon, nels and i arrive at golden bridge. we were running a bit late and were suprised to see that we were the first to arrive there. i called R and asked him where he was. he said the second floor but he was no where to be seen. nels called baabs and went downstairs to look for them. right about then, R and i realized we had mixed up restaurants.

i had emailed everyone to meet at golden unicorn!!! while i like the food at golden bridge much better, everyone was already planning to meet at golden unicorn. of course, i was horribly embarrassed but nels reassured me it was fine and we hustled to get to golden unicorn. . luckily they are only 3 or 4 blocks away from one another.

R called and said he was there and on the 2nd floor and would ask for a table. when nels and i arrived at golden unicorn, baabs and her hubby were waiting in the lobby. we took the elevator to the 2nd floor and since i didn't see R i went ahead and got a table.

i called R back and told him we already got a table on the 2nd floor and to look for us. when he didn't come, i called him again and realized that he had gone to golden bridge to meet us!!! i felt terrible and after apologizing profusely asked him to come back to golden unicorn. we started to order some food and when R finally came, i put a few items on his dish. . .i could tell he was a bit peeved but by the time he got a few pieces of shumai and dumplings in, he was his usual happy go lucky self.

Q2 and tchan arrived shortly after R. we stayed for an hour and a half, enjoying a relaxing dim sum and chatting. i still think golden bridge is the best dim sum place i've been to in c-town. . think i'll have to start exploring flushing's chinatown.

after dim sum, R, nels and i walked to union square, stopping at a shoe store and beard papa on the way there. nels headed to campus to do some lab work and R and i went to whole foods and trader joes. spent the rest of the afternoon doing some work, catching up on phone calls and cooking sweet & sour soup.

getting my ass kicked

my gym includes a free workout session with a personal trainer. so wednesday morning i asked the guy at the front desk how to sign up for that. turns out that big P, is one of the gym's personal trainers and so we scheduled a workout for friday at 2pm.

he asked me what i wanted to work on so he could tailor the workout. um. . everything? i told him lower body fat, tone my arms and abs, & make my butt more shapely (fyi, 99.9% of asian girls have flat asses). i have an aversion to working out with weights. put me on a treadmill, stair master, bike, elliptical machine, etc with a good playlist or movie and i'm happy as a clam. put me in a weight room and i'm just at a loss at what to do.

so needless to say, my workout friday afternoon kicked my ass, in the best sense. it was a full body workout and two days later i'm still sore all over! i learned how to do lunges, squats, all sorts of weight machines. . .

i definately want to incorporate weights into my workout regimen. . .let's just see how long i can keep it up!

strange encounter

the scene
eden wok on E34th and park.

the scenario
i was meeting up with mbear for dinner. i picked eden wok cuz it's close to my workplace and kosher- the latter a must for eating out with mbear- an orthodox jew. we placed our orders and grabbed a table. i was in the middle of telling mbear about work when this dark haired, middle aged woman motioned me over.

V: yes?

DHMAW: you can't marry him!!

V: (speechless)

DHMAW: he's religious. it's a sin in the eyes of our god. it's wrong.

V: (recovering ever so slightly) um, we are just friends.

DHMAW: (ignoring what i said) it's very wrong. you'll go to hell. blah blah blah.

Mbear: look, we've been friends since the 7th grade! there's nothing going on.

DHMAW: i see how you look at her. you like her. this is wrong.

dumfounded i step back while mbear and crazy continue to argue. after a minute, mbear left and we started chatting again. when our food came out, he went up and got it. then crazy starts muttering craziness again. finally tired of it, mbear goes over and talks to the woman. tries to explain that we've been friends for over 13 years, his family knows me, etc. she said that she meant the discussion to be for me since i don't know jewish law. frustrated, he sat back down again.

he had wanted her to apologize for making me uncomfortable. . which i definately was. moreover, i was irritated. not only had crazy assumed way too much about my relationship with mbear, but also about his principles and mine. i always try to be respectful of other people's beliefs. once mbear began practicing judaism more strictly and observing its customs and rules, i became mindful of what i wore (long sleeve shirts and pants) around him and waves good-bye and hello replaced hugs. . . but crazy just assumes because i am not jewish i am amoral?

closed minded, judgemental folk bother me tremendously. i typically surround myself with liberal thinkers and free spirits so it was somewhat shocking to realize that most of the world is not that way. . .

peruvian food in billyburg

went to chimu last night with the billyburg crew- nels, george, & debs.

http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/41379989/

i'd been curious about the place for awhile but have been waiting to get more feedback on it. (come on, good peruvian food in williamsburg?) chimu had finally accumulated a respectable number of reviews and they are all pretty positive. . so given the position to coordinate dinner, i decided to go for it.

debs and i headed straight there from work and beat the boys. there were only a few parties there so we had our pick of tables. the restaurant is nice & dimly lit (but not too dim) and the restaurant was on the small side. the decor was nothing impressive, but that's not something that i look for in an authentic, ethnic restaurant.

after we sat down at a table near the fountain, the waitress brought out a small dish of salted corn kernals to snack on. once the boys came, i ordered a malbec from argentina and looked over the menu. we decided to order two appetizers and two entrees and a side to eat family style.

we started with a lightly fried mashed potato patty stuffed with chopped meat, black olives, eggs, topped with a spicy green creole sauce. i think i've found the peruvian equivalent to comfort food! the second ap was ceviche mixto and the restaurant was quite generous with its portion size and array of seafood- mussels, shrimp, white fish, calamari, and crab. the ceviche was fresh and well seasoned but not exceptional.

the entrees included one meat and one seafood dish. grilled steak served on a bed of rice and bean risotto sounds basic but was probably the best dish of the evening. the steak was succulent and perfectly cooked to medium rare. crispy calamari, shrimp, white fish, mussels topped with bermuda onions, yellow peppers, juilane, and lime juice was fried with a little too much batter to my liking. although the creole sauce was meant for the steak, i felt it was a bettter sauce for the fried seafood. the fried sweet plaintain would have been improved by more crispness.

while chimu does not beat the peruvian restaurants of LA (thanks e), it provided us with a plentiful and tasty meal enjoyed among good friends and conversation.

mountain patrol

went and saw a movie sunday afternoon with some friends.

kekexili: moutain patrol, like many chinese movies, was actually previously released in china a couple years ago. further, like many mainland chinese movie, it was thoroughly depressing and almost everyone dies at the end. nonetheless, while it was slow at times, the movie was quite good and exposed me to a part of china i'm not very familiar with. . namely the northwestern region of tibet that borders xinjiang.

in the movie, there is a civilian group that has formed the mountain patrol. their main purpose is to stop the poaching of tibetan antelope, a species that was being quickly decimated by hunters for their fur. harsh weather conditions- snow, high altitude, and deserts don't make for a great environment for farming let alone living. i appreciated how the director did not stereotype the characters into "good" and "bad" guys. instead, we see how individuals are motivated by the need to survive, greed, pride, etc.

check it out, although it's definately a downer, it's worth watching!

going outside the comfort zone

decided to stay in last night and relax. asleep by midnight and had a glorious 9 hours of sleep. . haven't felt so refreshed in awhile. . . i remembered that the spinning class at my gym starts at 10 AM. . so i threw on my gym clothes and rushed to the gym. this my friends, was a milestone for me. . . an attempt to step outside my comfort zone.

you see, i've never taken exercise classes before. . . while i love the gym, i've always shied away from the aerobics/kickboxing/jazzercise/yoga, etc classes. i am not the most coordinated person and get way too self-conscious in front of groups. i'd much rather hop on a treadmill, elliptical, or row machine and pound away. . . but spinning had always sounded appealing and doesn't involve tricky footwork, lunges, etc.

the class was pretty full, only one bike was remaining by the time everyone was settled. there i picked a bike in the far back corner-where i wouldn't be too conspicuous. the next hour consisted of alternating between spinning rapidly and recovery and climbs at various intensities to loud, heart thumping music. . .the work out was incredible and kicked my ass . . .though i made the mistake of wearing running shorts opposed to biking shorts-luckily i didn't end up with chafed thighs. the only downside of spinning is that my lack of a bondunkadunk left me somewhat sore from the hard seat.

nevertheless, i am a spinning convert!!! and who knows, maybe i'll finally try yoga

compliments

last night vk came over for dinner. she brought the groceries and helped me cook. an old standby- broiled trout stuffed with lemon and bay leaves served with aioli sauce which we paired with an endive and pear salad. . yummy. .

in any case, the discussion turned to compliments. more specifically, what does it mean when a boy does not give his girl enough compliments. i know a girl who is simply gorgeous, stunning actually, always turns heads when she's out. yet her boy never acknowledges her appearance, rarely tells her she's pretty/beautiful/etc. is this because he is insecure and doesn't want her to realize that she is hot and then go out and find someone else? perhaps she will cling to him more because she's insecure. . regardless, it creates an unhealthy cycle. the girl feels unsure about her desirability, afterall, shouldn't the boy who she's with- who claims to love and adore her, affirm his attraction and interest in her? so then, not being able to get this attention at home, it creates a need to get noticed and praised by others outside the relationship.

vk then proposed that on the flip side, being overly complimentary can get annoying or seem desperate. . . i don't know if i agree. i think as long as it is sincere, girls appreciate being complimented. . .

so lesson to all the boys, if you've got a woman you love and you want to keep her, treat her like a princess and let her know you appreciate her. not just in the looks department but in other areas too. . it's really that simple, yet not enough guys do it. at the end of the day, most women are insecure at worst and have moments of insecurity at best and need to be told that we are beautiful.

trying too hard

on the 6 uptown to work, there was an asian guy wearing a plaid vest, jeans, carrying an army green messenger bag, and sunglasses. sunglasses. inside. in the subway. where no light comes in.

i never understood why people where sunglasses inside buildings or when it's dark out. are they hiding something? bags? a black eye? my guess is they (1) spent a shitload of money on them and want to get their money's worth outta them or (2) they think it looks cool.

i think it's a turn off.

i remember once in my freshman or sophomore year of highschool there was this guy that i was crushing on. we met through a literary group that i was co-editor of. the boy was very tall, cute, intense, and a poet. things were going well- he was digging me and i was digging him. until he came into a meeting wearing sunglasses. inside. where it was dimly lit. needless to say, that was the end of my crush.

fire in the hood

on my way home from the gym i noticed that there were thick gray clouds of smoke in the sky. helicopters were flying around. people were standing outside their doors pointing upwards and talking about the fire nearby.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/02/nyregion/02cnd-fire.html?hp&ex=1146628800&en=3d10e024967f191e&ei=5094&partner=homepage

a little too close to home. . .