Thursday, May 18, 2006

cab ride conversations

it's interesting how much personal information an individual is willing to share with a complete stranger. . .but perhaps it is that anonymity that makes an individual unhibited about sharing their personal story.

after grabbing a few drinks with debs and Q2 at our favorite LES watering hole, i got into a cab back to williamsburg. having heard a report earlier in the day about cab drivers wanting a fare hike to compensate for rising gas prices. the cab driver and i discussed gas prices and how it's crazy how the US government doesn't tax gasoline consumption more. the cab driver explained how he was from turkey. . .that he wanted to go back there but was trapped in marriage. he told me i was young and i should avoid marriage as long as possible.

his wife was american and they were going to get a divorce. she had pressured him into getting married after dating for two years. the marriage has been a failure and though he wants to be happy, he is wracked with guilt at the thought of leaving his near 60 year old soon to be ex-wife. no matter how hard he tried he couldn't make her happy, their joint business ventures had failed, and she had never been able to have children. he spoke highly of his wife, stating that she is one of the nicest people he knows and he loved her as a person but their marriage was only getting worse. he complained that his problem was always dating women that wanted to marry him.

i reflect on that conversation with some sadness. it's always disappointing to see relationships and especially marriages that don't work out. i suppose in this case, the cabbie married for the wrong reasons. . a bad way to start a marriage.

earlier in the evening, debs had talked about how she wanted to take the non-traditional route and never marry, instead having boyfriends the rest of her life. we joked about how she would have one in every city. then she would tell Q2 and i how it is. is it normal to be so young and be so skeptical of marriage? yet, for me in spite of all the unhappy, bad marriages i have seen, the romantic in me still retains the belief that truly happy marriages exist. so i'm rooting for all my friends that are in them, because they help me keep the hope alive!

2 comments:

Rockenheimer said...

It CAN be done, even in 2006. You were right on the money yesterday when you said it was a matter of circumstance, luck, hard work, and faith. Mostly the last two, if you ask me. Thing is BOTH parties involved have to realize what they're getting themselves into and they BOTH have to make a lifelong commitment to making it work, which... always IS, "work". Love isn't a love-at-first-sight chemical reaction. Like blogging and exercise, it's a motion of the will.

God love you. You'll find someone.

v said...

thanks for all the support and insight rockenpooper...no inclination to settle down just yet. i am enjoying singlehood and this period in my life where i can focus on me...besides- i think that someone should find me;)