the art of flattery

my brilliant niece (age 4) and nephew (age 2) have already learned an important life lesson, that in almost any instance, can win over a woman's heart.

my sister was about to lose it- tired, cranky, and had it up to here with the kids. sensing that their momma was about to lose her lid, the kids cranked up the charm.

my nephew decides to cheer up vern with song.

nephew: jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle all the mommeeeeeee. aww fun to ride with mommeeeee.

my sister's steam begins to cool.

my niece then turns up the charm.

niece: mom you are so beautiful mom you are not fat at all!!

how do they know??? needless to say, it worked like a charm. my sister's anger melted into laugther. besides, it's hard to stay annoyed at two such adorable munchkins.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

whether you're relaxing with family, friends, or a loved one- i hope you are having a merry christmas!!!

what's in a name

i was standing near a register and dealing with an associate problem when an older woman caught my attention.

crazy customer: YOU! SALES PERSON!!!

is she f**king serious? who would go into a restaurant and say- YOU WAITER! come be at my beck and call. . i'm no one's b***h. but it's not even so much what she said but how she said it with such a condescending tone that implies that being a sales person is something lowly . . . my blood was boiling.

v: yes ma'am, i'll be with you in a minute. k can help ring you up. do you have a question?

k was busy ringing up another customer, but crazy customer obviously didn't want to wait.

crazy customer: can you help ring us up?

ahh. . she's obviously so important that she doesn't have to wait in line like anyone else.

crazy customer's daughter: MOM!!! can't you see she's busy?

crazy customer: what! she asked me a question. i'm not crazy.

hmmm

highlight of my day

saw a couple wandering around. i approach them.

V: can i help you?

lady (L): yes, do you have the wine coaster that matches this?

she holds up a modern looking, silver wine bottle holder. i check the style of the piece.

V: let me check in the back.

i take a deep breath before i disappear into the stockroom. it's hit or miss. . either you find it right away or spend minutes (what feels like hours) looking for the desired piece. EUREKA!!! i find it. i carry the box triumphantly out to the couple.

V: YES! here it is!

l: hmm. . great! what do you think? she turns to her boyfriend.

Boyfriend (B): it's great. your tastes are changing and i hope to be around when they do.

l: i am moving from a french country style to something more modern.

V: yes, that is a big change.

l & b spend half an hour debating between two different coasters. he's starting to get a little frustrated.

b: just pick what you like.

l: but your opinion matters too. what do you think?

b: i dunno. . it's kinda modern/MOMA like and that's not me. (to me) what do you think, not that it matters.

V: they are both nice but they are completely different styles. i actually have modern/MOMA-like tastes. . . but that coaster is not too crazy or out there. . .

b: that's true.

l wavers back in forth, looking at other pieces. he starts to get impatient.

b: look, just pick whatever you like, i'm sure this nice sales person has other things to do.

V: no no, take your time.

b: wrong anwer!

V: laughing, sorry! i'm actually very busy, can you hurry?

l: i also need to get a gift for his sister.

V: what does she like?

l: i have no idea!

V: (to b) what does your sister like?

b: girls!!!

l: i am soo embarassed.

V: no no, it's fine.

b: honestly, the only thing i know for sure that she likes is girls. . . we used to cruise for girls together. . . actually only once, years ago.

l: i can't take you anywhere!!!

27 going on 72

christmas is right around the corner which means (1) longer work hours (i have to be at work at either 8 AM or until 11:30 PM), (2) the crazies and grumpies are out in droves, and (3) the patience of all have worn thin.

which means, i'm tired and never feel like going out after work. especially with an hour drive back home. in traffic. with my notorious road rage and metamorphosis into the angry little asian girl. regardless, i feel lame.

it's saturday night and i had a lovely evening out planned with theng, her hubby, qq, and another friend. i got home around 10pm, hungry, and beat. registry returns totally over $4000. customers up the wazoo each vying for attention and immediate service. although i kept my game face on throughout the night, it drained me. i need to sleep and wake up in a few hours and do it all over again. . until i have another day off. . five more days. . a stretch of 10 days without a break. . .

sorry for all the complaints. . i'll be better after the holiday madness ends. . .

the kindness of strangers

paycheck has been burning a hole in my pocketbook for the past week. finally got up early enough to go to the bank before work to make my deposit and get some cash.

got to the bank before its opening at 7:45 AM and used my debit card to get into the atm area. went to make a deposit and realized i had forgotten to bring a pen. luckily there was another customer at the neighboring atm machine and lent me his. made my deposit. got my cash. got my receipt and left the bank, in a rush to get to work in time.

just as the door closed behind me when i realized that i had forgotten my atm card. luckily the pen-loaner saw my predicament and let me into bank. unfortunately, it was too late. the machine took the card back because the wait was too long.

i called the number on the screen as i got into my car and drove to the associate parking lot. found out that i had 24 hours to retrieve my card from the bank before it was deactivated. what a start to the day. . .

post office nazi

feeling a bit run down of late. . .my days off are for the most part errand days, running around all over town tryin to take care of odds and ends. mostly dealing with stuff for my new apartment.

given that i am technically homeless for a month, i had decided to put my mail on hold from the end of november until the end of december. nonetheless i have still been getting some mail in my mailbox. . .monday morning after hitting the gym, i decided to walk to the post office. . mind you, my old apartment is equidistant from two post offices.

so first i went to the one in greenpoint. after waiting for half an hour i was told that i had to pick up my mail at the other post office. once i got there. . i waited for yet another half an hour just to get to the front of the hold line. . . mind you, there were only three people in line before me. . the attendant was extremely slow. . during the wait, i questioned what the pay system is at a post office. i figured there must be very little incentive to actually work efficiently.

once i got to the front, i told the extremely slow attendant (ESA) that my mail was on hold and showed her my ID and a bill to verify my mailing address and asked if i could pick up my mail. she disappeared for fifteen minutes.

ESA: your mail is on hold until the end of december. you can't pick up your mail until the end of december.

v: (incredulously) but i'm physically here at the post office and requesting to get my mail.

ESA: i'm sorry. you can't pick it up.

v: can i cancel the hold.

ESA: no. you're going to have to catch up with your mailman on the street and tell him. he left already.

wtf? how am i supposed to do that?

v: i don't understand why i can't cancel the hold.

ESA: i already did you a favor by going upstairs to look up information for you.

wtf? you are doing your J-O-B, not doing me a favor.

v: i appreciate that. could you please notify the mailman that i want to cancel my hold.

ESA: i'll make a note of it and get to it when i can.

so essentially, after wasting my entire morning, i still have none of my mail. i really am going to have to rank the post office as one of the most annoying places right up there with kinkos. . .

vultures

had very much been looking forward to a girls' night out with Q2. with the new job & the living situation, outings with my girlfriends have become a rarity.

we met up at variety, which has gotten a lot of buzz in the media. . .huge wine lovers, Q2 and i were pretty excited about checking out the venue. . .what we expected to be a laid back, casual spot to grab a glass of wine ended up being a bit aloof, stuffy, and pretentious. while the owner was friendly and eager to please, the food was underwhelming and overprices, the waiters were stingy with bread, and they commited the V pet peeve- overpushing bottled water. . please, water from the sink is fine by me and don't try to trick me by offering "still or fizzy?" and ommitting the tap water option!!!!

that being said, variety seems like a great place to grab a flight or glass of wine. . much more my speed was our second stop, in vino. a cozy wine bar in the east village that is remiscent of a cavernous restaurant in florence. our server was knowledgable, laid back, and friendly. in vino espouses my philosophy towards wine, it is a beverage that should be enjoyed on a daily basis, as determined by one's individual taste buds, without fanfare and fuss. we had an excellent bottle of docletto, bread, and meatballs.

by the last glass, kb joined us. we headed to china1, a spot i hadn't frequented in some time. the crowd was a bit stuffy and we only stayed for a brief while as Q2 started feeling ill. after kb made sure Q2 got home and in bed ok, we headed to our tried and true favorite, verlaine. i don't know what was in the air, but the vultures were definatley hunting. first there was the indian bloke that couldn't stop staring and making awkward conversations that were more silences than actual words. then, there was random scott who pretended to be best friends with one of my bartender-friends just to have a chance to interrupt our conversation. next was some guy who invited us to join their table. . and in the last maneuver, a group of guys invited us to have a shot on the house with them while we were obviously exiting the bar. . .is this really what the singles scene is like???

winter time

winter is here, i feel it when. . .

all i want to do is stay curled up in my warm bed under my down comforter topped by my fuzzy heavy blanket

it takes an additional mental push to walk the three blocks to my gym

i'm cursing the cold as my car heater warms up

the christmas playlist goes on high rotation

i see lines out the door at toys r us with parents queing to buy the hottest toys for their kids

ordering take-out sounds a lot more appealing then dressing up and going out for a night on the town with my girlfriends

the boy and i agree to watch animated christmas classics rather than fight for the remote

empty fridge

during my preparations to move, i packed up almost everything in my kitchen and cleared out my cupboards and fridge. so for the past few days i have been eating out/ordering take out. while the food is tasty, it's rough on the wallet and waistline. . so this morning after i hit the gym, i decided to stop by the grocery store to pick up enough food to get me through a week.

turkey bacon
eggs
cereal & milk
sandwich meat
frozen veggies
etc

the cashier rings me up. i hand over my credit card. the cashier tries to swipe the card and finds that their system is down. she calls the manager. they both fiddle around with it. it's goin to take some time before they figure out what's wrong and get the problem rectified. . . wanting to get goin with my day, i decide to leave without my groceries. a couple minutes into my cold walk back home, the bagger runs out calling my name.

b: it's okay!!! the machine is working.

v: GREAT!

we start walking. as soon as we get back to the store, the cashier waves her hand motioning, no no. the machine is still down.

hopes dashed, having wasted half an hour, i go home starving. . good thing i have some muscle milk powder and almonds to tide me over, otherwise i'd be really grouchy!

stroke of luck

thought i should clarify my living situation on my blog for my friends that i talk to less regularly(v. good point ahamoud).

i had been expecting to move to the UES dec 1st so i notified my landlord that i would be moving out at the end of november. at the end of october, i found out that the new apartment would not be ready for move in until the end of december. unfortunately my landlord had found a new tenant.

via my landlord's real estate broker, i worked a deal with the new tenant and i would sublet my old room and use it as storage for the month of december. then i found a sublet for 3 weeks in december until i could move to the new place.

come dec 1, i finally talked to the new tenant directly and it turns out that he would be out of town for business dec 2nd-15 and he generously told me to take my time moving out. so essentially, i'm squatting at my old apartment until the 14th after which i will bounce around with friends for a couple weeks.