one of those days

was overly ambitious this morning and set my alarm for 5am- hoped to hit the gym and be in my car headed to work by 7:30.

5am

WHAAA WHAAA WHAA WHAA

the alarm goes off. . i half wake up from my vivid dreams and shuffle over to the alarm clock and shut it off. 5 am. what was i thinking? i start fiddlin with my watch and attempt to set it for 7. half knowing that i was doing it incorrectly, i still dozed back to sleep.

suddenly, i bolt up out of bed. glance at my watch. 7:48 AM. shit!!! i'm gonna be late for work.

i jump out of bed and run the shower. . as i rinse off, it suddenly occurs to me that i sorta kinda remember resetting the time instead of the alarm.

i get out of the shower and throw on a towel and walk by the kitchen where my clock sits. 6:55AM. WHEW. i have plenty of time to get dressed, eat breakfast, and head out to work.

a un-fun day full of crazies (i'm telling you, the full moon is coming tomorrow and they are out with a vengeance). left work feeling deflated and with the blood sucked outta me, it's now 9pm and i'm still trying to recover.. hopefully a trip to the gym will help!

summer adventures and a growing to do list

i love love love summer time in new york. summer stage- the beach- dining al fresco, etc. this is the painful part about working retail hours that attending all the free summer events is difficult. .alas, i will do my best to complete my summer to-do list:

1. go hiking at least once
2. go to fire island at least once
3. attend minimally 2-3 summer stage concerts at central park
4. picnic at central park during opera in the park
5. check out the hamptons (gotta see what all the hype is about)
6. drinks at the met's rooftop cafe
7. go to ps 1's warm up parties

in memory of a great man

i just learned that my advisor has passed away. he has been suffering from lung cancer for some time now, the final stages have been very difficult. in a way, his passing may be a blessing- an end to his physical suffering.


i think i have been in denial about his condition for quite some time now- and have dealt with it by simply not dealing with it. and now i feel a terrible sense of loss.


often with death, social norms dictate that we should overlook an individual's shortcomings and only reflect on their good qualities. with my advisor, there is no need, because there are actually no shortcomings- only wonderful and remarkable qualities.


for you see, he is perhaps the greatest man i have ever met. exceedingly brilliant yet humble and always gracious and kind. he is an advisor that a graduate student could only hope for- supportive, wise, and patient.


he touched the lives of students, researchers, staff, etc. he was never too busy to help someone in need, to spend hours of his time to talk to a student or read his paper, etc. he saw the good in people and was not afraid to praise it.

i am filled with sadness. my only consolation- is knowing that while his life was too short- he lived a full life filled with many admirers and loved ones, and accomplished more than what most men could in 10 lifetimes.

making a commitment

when it rain it pours. my big bro and co-worker, D, have unloaded some new music on me.

amy winehouse.
desaperecidos.
feist's new album.
el-p.

to name a few. sometimes, i'll love a new band/album instantly. many others, including some of my absolute favorites, requires more of a commitment and an investment of time where i need to listen to the album several times before i develop a true appreciation for it. unfortunately, if i don't do this immediately, the new (for me) albums will be forgotten and sit in my itunes library collecting dust.

not to disappoint feist fans, the new album is a richer, deeper version of her first album- trademark ballads that are at once beautiful, lyrical, and soulful.

desaperecidos, much like bright eyes, i know will require some listenings to. . but has potential.

dinner part-ay

evilbrown and i have been talking about co-hosting a dinner party for some time now. . it finally came to fruition this past friday night and i dare say that i have met my match. he met me at my apartment around 6pm armed with bags of groceries and a cast iron grill pan.

over the course of two hours- evilbrown whipped up pao de queijo, bouillabaisse, and lamb chops. every bit was delicious, especially the lamb chops which were exceedingly fresh.

i made two batches of bacon wrapped dates and a chocolate coconut fondue for dessert. otherwise, i was completely left free to relax, entertain, and mingle. . perhaps my first dinner party that was stress free for me.

it was a bigger turnout than expected, theng, hosmillo, Q2, J, rickitintin, mittens, rum-runner, nels, k, and a friend of theng's. everyone was happy, just enough wine and food, and the conversation flowed equally well.

check please

you've had a fabulous conversation, enjoyed a wonderful cocktail or dinner, and then there's that inevitable, awkward moment. the waiter brings out the bill and places it front of the male customer.


scecario 1.

guy immediately pulls out his billfold or wallet and pays before gal even has a chance to say or do anything. moment passes.


woman thinking, " awww, that was nice of him!! problem solved, glad i don't have to stress about arguing over who is paying. . . "

scenario 2.

guy ignores the bill and continues to talk. girl is very aware that the bill has been placed on the table.

woman thinking, "hmm. . .does this mean he wants to go dutch, should i offer to pay half? is this a date? maybe he just wants to be friends?"

and then there's me.
scenario 3.

guy glances at the check and reaches for his wallet.

v: want to split it?

guy: no no, i want to get this.

v: are you sure?

guy: yea

v: ok, i'll get the next round of drinks.

i've always felt weird about letting a guy pay for meals, etc. . i believe this stems from being raised not to take anything from anyone. .that i should do thinks for myself. and i learned to associate another person paying as a form of dominating someone and this signalled a risk of being dependent on someone, something i did not want. moreover, most of my dating experience has been in the context of a commited, serious relationship so it made sense to share the burden of going out and i never had to deal with this whole issue.

now it's this awkward, weird thing. i'm not the type of girl that will write a guy off if he doesn't pay for everything. i think there is a lot involved- who asked who out? etc.

perhaps there is a biological component? a guy that can pay is more likely to be a good provider. regardless, i am kind of curous about the male perspective on this issue. . .

all those

The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.

(just had to share this with you all- thanks celestial!!!)


1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... And it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

10: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

11: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

12: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

13: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

14: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

15: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of Pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

16: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

17: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

18: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

19: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

20: We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really, know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "Roll over, You're next!"

I hope this clears up any confusion,

The International Council of Manlaws Ltd.

friday night shennanigans

work has been busier than usual due to staffing- lori has been in FL taking care of her daughter who had a medical emergency and D is on vacation. . . leaving me and lazy L. needless to say i bolted out the door at 6pm and headed home.

got quickly dressed and met up with celestial and Q2 at kura sushi. a little drama unfolded during the course of the meal but was luckily resolved before celestial headed home. Q2 and i stopped at the tasting room where i enjoyed a beautiful california wine. the tasting room is a great venue, tiny hole in the wall place with a great homey vibe. not to mention knowledgeable and uber friendly staff.

next stop was pegu club- aussie bartender happened to be working and we chatted a bit. Q2 and i ended up hanging out with a group of (mostly) rhode island natives who were celebrating a b-day. surprisingly a fun group of people. got a good vibe from atl-boy, maybe it's the southern charm? unlike the others, atl knew the b-day boy from a previous job and was not a childhood friend.

after about an hour or so, Q2 was done and ready to head home. aussie and i had decided to meet up fo a drink at angel's share after his shift. so i amused myself by chatting with the b-day goers for a bit more until aussie was done.

aussie changed into t-shirt, jeans, and sandals and had a beer and shared an appetizer before heading out. over drinks, we had a nice conversation and learned more about each other. unlike most bartenders in nyc, he's actually a career bartender and quite serious about his profession- entering & judging various cocktail making contests. a traveler/wanderer, eating out enthusiast. laid back. interesting guy and enjoyable company.

just say "blah"

today i was in pain. my fault for staying out until 3AM knowing i had to get up for work at 7AM so i can't really complain.

so my night. . .despite the late hour, it was really a bit anti-climactic.

met up with the young gosling for a drink around 10:15PM. yes i know- your thinking- why waste my time with such a young gosling?

1. he's so darn cute.
2. he's demonstrated a healthy amount of interest.
3. i was curious about what was beneath the pretty face.
4. i try to be open-minded when it comes to dating.

he texted me mid-day to see how my day was going. i called him on my drive home from work to firm up plans. we decided to meet up at banc cafe in midtown. he got there first.

*side note: this is the part that always kills me. i am normally a VERY punctual person, usually a bit early actually. but i hate showing up first for a date. . so i walked s-l-o-o-w-l-y from the subway stop to the restaurant.*

i met him inside the restaurant/bar/lounge where we hugged briefly and got a table outside. i ordered a drink and we proceeded to chat. over a shared appetizer we talked about general interests, work, family, religion, etc. we ordered another round. during the course of the date, i started to get tired of making such an effort to keep conversation going. then i started wondering what my girlfriends were doing.

don't get me wrong. young gosling is a pleasant enough fellow- seems considerate enough, nice, not stupid. and yet, he was bringing nothing to the table. no flavor at all. at the very least, i expect a companion to be able to share interesting conversation. so after we finished our drinks, i politely excused myself and reminded him i had a birthday party to attend.

he paid for the check and we walked together for a few blocks before parting ways. can't remember if we hugged or not. i thanked hiim for a nice time and wished him a pleasant rest of the weekend.

met up with Q2 and celestial at ps 450 (i had forgotten how much i hate midtown venues- so generic, bland, and meatmarket-esque). had a couple drinks. nothing too exciting. we were all hungry so we headed to k-town for a late late feast. chatted for an hour then made my way home.