Sunday, April 29, 2007

when life is full of disappointments

tho i refrain from playing favorites, i must admit to having a soft spot for "natalia". she is an incredibly hard worker, excellent saleswoman, bright, enthusiastic, & energetic. she's from eastern europe, has a thick accent, and happily describes tasty food followed by "yum yum".

recently, she got into a car accident that left her relatively, physically unscathed. however there was a couple thousands of dollars of damage. according to office gossip, natalia's husband was unwilling to share the financial burden and shortly thereafter, i hear that natalia got a second job.

as she described her difficulty picking up hours at her second job because of her schedule here, i sensed her anxiety and stress. . .when i asked her if her husband was able to help, she shook her head and struggled to fight back tears.

in the moment i saw how alone natalia felt and was deeply moved. without a family in america. supposedly on a third marriage, and another unhappy one at that. i was frustrated that such an industrious and capable individual was embedded in such a miserable situation. feeling helpless, i gave natlalia a hug and assured her i would do what i could to adjust her schedule.

moments later i continued to reflect on that encounter. what i sense is a greater tragedy. i can envision it so clearly- natalia as a young and beautiful woman, vibrant with dreams and high aspirations. i see natalia now, consumed by unhappiness, haggard, and feeling defeated by a life seemingly full of disappintment. the contrast is both sharp and unnerving.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

the good kind

today was crazy busy- the kind of busy where i missed my lunch break and was running around frantically. . . the kind of day that makes the day pass by ever so quickly.

even better, i generally had only nice clients today.

that's the best.

mrs j had called a week ago asking me about prices of items on a registry. she stopped by the store today and we were able to order the merchandise for her. afterwards, she sat and chatted with me. turns out the gift is for one of her best friend's daughter who was 40 and getting married for the first time. the woman was a new yorker, had a great career going, attractive and vibrant woman but had never found the right partner. unexpectedly, while vacationing on a cruise in the mediterranean, she met her fiancee. he was middle aged and had also never been married. lovely story.

over the next fifteen minutes, mrs j and i discussed how difficult it is for "young people" these days have such a hard time meeting one another, her son's continuing bacehlorhood, and etc. she asked me about my status and what i thought about finding a partner. as i spoke with mrs j, i was reminded how enjoyable my job can be. connecting with someone and having them open up to a perfect stranger.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

car ride revelations

had an epiphany yesterday morning on my drive to work- listening to an episode of this american life. interviews of middle aged women that were going through the arduous process of selecting a sperm donor. you see these women had gotten to the point in their lives where they were tired of waiting to get married and just wanted the "baby" part.

i won't get into the whole argument of whether or not it's sensible for a single woman to bring a child into the world. yes, every woman should be able to have the miraculous experience of having and raising a child. then again, i think it can be difficult for a boy to grow up without a father figure.

in the middle of listening to these women and their selection process, it started to dawn on me that i may never find someone that i want to marry. i can easily see myself having fulfilling, meaningful relationships with different individuals throughout the course of my life. but marriage. . . i'm not so sure yet. . . i then realized that i would have to become comfortable with the idea that i might never get married or necessarily have children. fortunately, i can do the latter vicariously through my sister's children and my friends' children.

until now, i had never questioned whether or not i would ever get married, it was more a matter of timing. yet, it's not so terrible of a fate. it beats settling. it beats divorce. just some reflections.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

robbing the cradle

wonderful saturday- perhaps its the gorgeous weather but i've been floating on cloud nine.

had brunch with DJ at flea market. delicious smoked salmon salad. food was as good as i remembered- service much worse than i rememembered.

afteroon outing with the ladies- Q2, celestial, theng, and i went cosmetics shopping in soho in the afternoon. stopped in chinatown to get a snack before heading back to Q2's place to get dolled up for dinner at peep. enjoyed giving theng a mini-makeover.

long line at peep so we put on name down and walked around to see if any other restaurants had an open table. in the end, we decided to go back to peep and sit at the bar and have some drinks. by the time we finished our first round, it was time to get seated. we ordered a boulliabaise dish, calamri, squid ink noodles, sea bass, and scallop tartar. all was surprisingly good and not too expensive.

after dinner, theng headed home and our little triumverate headed out to the westside. we went to level V and were shocked by the poor turnout, despite a mostly male crowd, it was definately not a new york crowd. we hung around for a drink before heading out again. Q2 headed home so celestial and i decided to head back to the LES.

on our way to our old standby, a ryan gosling look alike waved us over.

gosling: hey ladies! what are you up to?

v: just hanging out. not sure where we're going.

gosling: i'm hanging out with some of my friends. we're going to X bar, you want to join us?

i look over at celestial and try to gauge her level of interest. gosling is hot but seems young. i glance bac over at celestial. she's got a poker face.

v: celestial?

celestial: whatever you want.

damnit, she's playing it cool.

v: yea, i think we're gonna go.

we walk away and once we get a block over celestial asks if it's too late to go back.

v: wait, you wanted to hang out with them? jeez, you gotta give me a hint next time. otherwise i'll always decline. yes, it's too late.

as we stand there debating for a few mintues, i notice gosling has wandered over our way.

v: so are you following us now? haha.

gosling: no no. just calling my friend. at this point, gosling is very inebriated as demonstrated by his difficulty managing his cell phone. we lost one of them. he took off, did you see him?

v: what does he look like.

gosling: he's white with dreads.

v: um, no, we didn't notice anyone.

gosling: gosling goes on for a bit about the story behind his friend's disappearance. he calls another friend to tell him where he is. so where are you two headed?

celestial: verlaine or schillers but we haven't decided yet.

gosling: do you want company?

v: sure.

gosling's friend/roommate stops by. rounds of introductions. the boys accompany us to verlaine and buy us drinks. we chat for awhile. gosling is talking to celestial so i make small talk with the friend. the wingman. he's a nice kid, you can tell he's used to playing this role or being overlooked for gosling. over the course of conversation, i discover that gosling and his roommate are college friends and they graduated a year ago. a year ago. mental calculation. 22/23 at best?

as the night wears on and i continue to make conversation with gosling, his age becomes more an more apparent. eagerness to please. lacking in direction. as we talked, i played with the idea of dating a younger man.

the pros- i could teach young gosling how to be a superb boyfriend, educate him about women, culture, food. then let him go and make the perfect boyfriend for some young girl his age.

the negatives-do i even need to mention them?

i suppose it's b/c it's hard to guess an asian girl's age. young gosling probably has no idea he was hitting on someone 5 years his senior. i'm not sure how i feel about it all. if i was a man, i'd feel pretty pumped, right?

Friday, April 20, 2007

breaking up the monotony

my commute to work has become the bane of my existence . . . or at least, the most annoying part of my day. i get frustrated with traffic, bad drivers, the monotony of it all.

taz recommended downloading "this american life", a podcast produced by NPR that gives first person accounts and short fiction pieces. . . it's quite entertaining. and so i rediscovered podcasts!

living in LA and VA, i used to keep up with my news via NPR. these days, i'm always behind on current events, and just catch snippets here and there online.

this american life. check.
talk of the nation. check.
wait wait. .. don't tell me. check.
learn spanish with coffee break spanish. check.

my car ride yesterday was the most enjoyable, entertaining, and engaging drive i've had. it flew by and i felt like my time was being used productively! (learning spanish has been on my to do list, and up'd the anty with my upcoming trip)

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

confession

hi my name is v. this is the hardest thing for me to admit, but i'm around surrounded by friends. your support means so much.

(deep breath)

i am a bachelor show addict.

ok, i know this isn't really news. . b/c i've talked about bachelor nights with VK and drinking games based on stupid, repetitive things that the contestants say.

in any case, i recently found out that the season had already started. last night while i was browsing on line, i discovered that the full episodes were viewable on ABC's website. so i snuggled into bed and started watching. . and after episode one, i told myself, just 15 more minutes. then somehow episode 2 flew by. then episode 3.

ahh. . why do i love it so? perhaps it's the romantic in me that somehow believes that crazy things can happen and people can truly find love in weird ways (no matter how fabricated and surreal. or, maybe it's just the fact that i am a voyeur and somehow enjoying all the awkward moments in dating and interpersonal relationships and seeing people reveal things about themselves through slight expressions and behavior. it's like watching a train wreck sometimes, just can't look away.

anyways, it was a great kick off to a "v is going to relax and do whatever she wants" day off. today i'm going to the gym, do a little shopping, hole up in a tea house and do some reading and internet surfing. what a beautiful thing.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

prayers to the hokies who are injured, victims, witnesses & their friends & family

during a normal week, i would rant about something inconsequential- something that annoyed me about work, driving, or dating/not dating. . . but i'm at a loss. it's such a sad thing that has happened at virginia tech.

some of my friends from grade school are alums. it just hits kinda close to home.

my prayers go out to all those that have been affected by this massacre.

Monday, April 16, 2007

balancing act

the downside to my new job is that i only have two weeks of vacation a year. initially i expected to go visit my big sis in her new home in FL in july and go for a long weekend to NN. i thought this would give me another week to work with to take a real vacation (i.e. out of the country) in september.

somehow, my vacation requests came back as a week off in july and a week off in august. while i love my family dearly, i was bummed by the fact that i might not get to go traveling this year. for those that know me, i am perpetually fighting wanderlust and start feeling antsy if i'm in any place too long. next on my list has been latin america (peru & argentina) and of course vietnam. the latter somehow always gets pushed back- mostly because i would love to spend an extended amount of time there.

in any case, i had hoped to go to latin america last year with eddie and Q2 but it never worked out with the timing. a new opportunity seemed to arise.

vern called me over the weekend to see if i would be able to help her drive down to FL in june. i spoke with my manager and was able to clear a 4 day weekend to go help my sister out. that left july free free free to go wherever i wanted but still have a week to chill with the folks in NN in august!

cross your fingers- looks like it just might work out! eddie should be back in lima for work and i can meet up with him there. . . machu picchu here i come!!!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

b-flat

called my girl on the drive home to see what she was up to. Q2, dollface, and i all meet up at angel share for drinks and snacks. chatted with my favorite bartender winnieL.

he told us the scoop. all the bartenders and servers were walking and opening up there own bar called b-flat at the beginning of may. new concept, new menu, new cocktails. perhaps a new favorite spot?

interesting conversation- dollface was offering advice on body language/signals and how to appear more approachable to q2. unfortunately, there was no opportunity for a demonstration of her coy skills as the rest of the night was lackluster and no suitable prospects to practice on. met up with celestial at a birthday party in flatiron and had a drink but we all called it an early night.

Friday, April 13, 2007

wing girl

must be a full moon coming out. all the crazies and difficult customers are out.

rough rough week at work and by thursday, i needed to go out and play. rushed out the door after turn to meet up with Q2 for dinner and drinks. got to her place in record time and was at her place around 7:30. we got dressed and freshened up before heading out.

first stop was momofuku for some savory pork neck ramen. plans to play wing-girl were quickly crushed as we found out that my girl’s crush had recently gotten married and no longer on the market. nonetheless, we had consoled ourselves with sake and a delicious dinner and were off to the next stop.

pegu club. made friends with the gorgeous aussie bartender. gotta love an accent. then headed out to verlaine where polo-shirt k killed us with overly strong drinks and free shots.

bad idea. paid for it all friday morning and early afternoon. . .

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

catch up day

went to work on the early side today hoping to catch up with the work i missed on my day out sick. that, plus, i had to move my car by 7am. i love getting an early start. had time to stop by micky-d's for an egg mcmuffin and get my car gassed up before sliding into work an hour early.

so much easier to be productive when there are no customers to bother you!!

in any case, today was a problem solving day. somehow managed to resolve several complicated customer issues by lunchtime which gave me a huge sense of accomplishment. rest of the afternoon was wrapped up in clienteling then a managers meeting which i had to leave early to help a bride. once that was done, it was time to go home! hung around for a bit longer to get the last batch of emails out and prepare a work plan for my associate.

good news, i might have a new hire before the month's end and many exciting developments at work.

Monday, April 09, 2007

happy easter

met up with tintin, mittens (tintin's new girl), Q2, and JP for dim sum at golden bridge. i was the first to arrive. reaching up the top of the stairs, i was welcomed by chaos. angry sounding chinese woman barking cantonese and english numbers from her podium. grandpas and grandmas sitting in rows waiting for their tables. little tykes milling around restlessly. i push my way to the head of the line, wait for the woman to stop yelling into her mic.

v: 5 people. lifting my hand to show all five fingers

the woman hands me ticket number 64. phone rings. Q2 is on her way. shortly after, Q2 then tin tin and mittens arrive. just as our table number is called, JP comes in. we're directed to a four top.

v: i said five. again lifting my hand to show all five fingers.

woman: i'm sorry. you can squeeze into the four top?

v: sure.

we scramble around while they pull up an extra chair. finally, we are all seated. by now, it's after 1pm and the carts are slowing down, the selection is more limited, but we are all starving. the first cart rolls around. we pounce on her and order har gow, rice flour rolls filled with roast pork and ground beef, taro dumplings. five rounds later, we were all satiated. especially tin tin as we were egging him on to finish up all the dishes.

after taking care of the check (really dim sum is always more expensive then anticipated), JP, tin tin, mittens, and i walked around chinatown for a little grocery shopping. i picked up some veggies, dried plums, and roast pork. we wandered our way over to the east village and stopped by sunrise mart where i got some picked veggies, spiced squid, and brown rice. with all my arms loaded up, it was time to head home.

within ten minutes of walking through the door, the phone rings. it's Q2 and she's dying to go out. i'm cold, fighting my cold, and beat from walking around town all afternoon. . but hey, what are friends for right? we met up at cha-an for some tea then yokocho for yakitori and sake and capped it off with a drink at angel's share. . a beautiful end to a wonderful friend-filled day.

Friday, April 06, 2007

calling out

spent wednesday running around in the cold rain doing site inspections for my class.

by late afternoon, i felt the first signs of illness creeping up on me. itchy throat and that "sick" feeling. by the time i was sitting in kura sushi with VK, i could tell that it would be bad. still, i had a fabulous dinner (rainbow roll and spicy scallop sushi- yum yum) and stopped by cha-an afterwards for a green comfort drink before heading back uptown.

next morning, my cold had definately settled in. body aches, alternating fevers and chills, and just feeling miserable overall. that on top of a 2.5 hour customer issue i had to deal with in the afternoon, i left work feeling whiped out. after spending way too long looking for a parking space, i stopped by duane reade to pick up cold medicine and some vitamin waters.

went to bed early, woke up for a few minutes to assess my health. not feeling much better, decided to call in sick and went back to bed. a delightful 3 hours later, i woke up feeling much better. sleep is always the best medicine. besides a runny nose, i'm feeling pretty good and will be ready for a long work day ahead.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

best kind of benefits

sometimes relationships and people surprise you.

i never expected my friendship with taz to develop the way it has. i still recall meeting him for the first time at orienation and having lunch at ackerman. study sessions paved way into walk breaks during our second and third year. . . leaving behind taz, eulalie, eddie, and maekre was tough. especially being uncertain of how those relationships would weather distance.

happily, all of these friendships have survived. and taz has become one of my best male friends. needless to say, i was very excited that he'd be visiting nyc for a conference.

wed night he got in and we met up at brother jimmy's bbq for a late dinner. talked into the wee hours. friday night met up with VK, Q2, and taz for dinner at pardo's chicken. (really really excellent peruvian chicken)- after which taz pointed out that he hadn't been given a handle yet. little did he know that i'd tried in the past, but finding a short word to capture or characterize him is extremely difficult. saturday met up for lunch at les enfants terribles (superb couscous with merguez sausage). sunday night went to a nearby sushi restaurant and caught a late showing of "blades of glory".

with taz back on the west coast- who will tell me truths about myself that aren't always so pleasant to hear but cushions it in a way to make it bearable (you know you're high maitenance right? not in a bad way at all only in a good way)? who will help me dissect any scenario, situation, relationship, problem with the patience of a saint and precision of a surgeon?

can't wait til you move back to the same time zone!

Sunday, April 01, 2007

A Sad Day for the Bruins

last night met up with a bunch of friends and bday boy at the village pourhouse to watch the final four.

b-day boy and his fellow georgetown alum friends arrived early to secure a spot to watch near the bar. Q2, celestial, and i arrived around 6:30pm figuring we'd have no problem getting in. . . no such luck. b-day boy warned me via text that it was crowded and to try the back entrance and say we are with the ucla alumni club and the line stretching around the front entrance confirmed his words. we made our way to the side door and tried to talk our way in. the bouncer wouldn't budge. no one in or out until 10 minutes before the ucla game. i texted b-day boy and told him our predicament.

b-day boy came to our rescue. he came to the back entrance and told the bouncer that we were with him and there was space near him and we were miraculously let in.

village pourhouse was a madhouse. an official georgetown (and ucla) bar, the crowd was intense, drunk, and loud. perfect for watching the game.

the rest is history. georgetown fought hard but was not able to come back and take the lead against ohio state. ucla fared even worse. halfway into the game, they fell apart. perhaps they got psyched out playing against florida once again. it was a sad sad night for the both the b-day boy and myself.

i couldn't even watch the last minutes of the game and we quickly left the pourhouse. a group of us headed to solas for a bit before heading over to level V for a b-day party.

interesting underground club in meatbacking- nice dance space and private rooms for parties. b-day boy's friends were all nice, having a great time, and in various states of drunkenness (the party had been going for a bit). we hung out for a couple of hours then decided to call it a night.