farewells, impressions, and kielbasa

feeling 49% overwhelmed with work and 49% in need of a night in and relaxing, the chances that i'd make it to nel's going away party in brooklyn were pretty slim. however, i had already made plans with a couple of work friends, the nose and miss honey, to join the festivities and attend an art gallery opening earlier in the week.

by 4pm i was feeling pretty good with my progress for the day and the nose's email reminder about the evening settled the matter. afterall, work would still be there tomorrow and i would regret not saying good bye to nels and k before they left for iowa. so the three of us headed out to willie-b to radegst biergarden.

we easily found the group- mostly anthropology people - who was settled in at a large wooden table. we ordered a round of drinks and pate before testing out the kielbasa and bratwurst. the food was excellent (though the kielbasa was far better than the bratwurst), affordable, hearty, and perfectl complemented drinking. except for the surly barmaid, i think radegst is worth another visit and a fun place to hang out.

the crowd was a mix of familiar but long forgotten faces and mingling involved awkward and half hearted attempts at conversation. i suppose that's not unsurprising, i was never that friendly with any of them except for george. consequently, i found myself spending the majority of the night chatting with the nose and miss honey and at times feeling like the observer/referree. having had a couple of glasses of wine, the nose was loosening up and sharing his impressions of miss honey, our work place, etc.

the nose: you are so contrary to our company and don't fit in the mix. you are very refined. i can see you owning a boutique or working for a lingerie company.

miss honey: (with a look of alarm) what do you mean? i'm too refined? what about her (pointing to me)?

the nose: she will do great. she's got an edge to her. you are really refined. i don't see you wheeling and dealing. you have to be able to be tough and scary.

miss honey: i can be tough. plus, my boss says that is something that is developed with age and confidence.

v: (i watch as it all starts to unravel and miss honey taking it too much to heart, i subtly gain the nose's attention) hey man, be careful with what you say.

the nose: sorry, i've had too much to drink. my words are getting away with me. it's not that you aren't smart or able. i just imagine you marrying some rick european man and living in a chatelet and running a household. you'll be fully capable of managing a staff and firing people. chuckling.

miss honey: that doesn't sound too bad. . but it's not the 21st century.

the conversation eventually veers away, but i can see that miss honey has been unsettled and her confidence ruffled. i remembered a time not too long ago when i was easily swayed and unsure of myself. and so on the trainride back to the city i tried to point out what i believe was the nose's real message- that to succeed you have to find an environment that you can thrive in. if you are a more passive, naive, and laid back person, you will be unlikely to succeed in a more aggressive, corporate environment. if you are more calculating and focused only on individual advancement, you might not do as well in a small company that relies heavily on collaboration and teamwork. better to find an environment that suits your personality, because the happier you are at work, the better your work will actually be, and hence the more successful you will ultimately be.

unfortunately, i could see that my argument did little to encourage miss honey. . . so funny how that is, that you can hear 100 good things about yourself and forget them in a second, but one negative comment will nag you forever.